Interpersonal Communication Developing and Ending Relationships

Interpersonal Communication Developing and Ending Relationships Interpersonal Relationships and Strategies Developing & Ending Relationships Romantic Relationship Family Relationship Your Interpersonal Relationships Week 11 Week 12 Week 13 Overview  Types and stages of interpersonal relationships  Forming, escalating, and ending relationships Types of Interpersonal Relationships Personal Social Voluntary Partners & Spouses Best friends Acquaintances Activity partners Involuntary Parent-Child Grandparent-Grandchild Siblings Distant relatives Coworkers and classmates Neighbors Stages of Interpersonal Relationships Exchange public information Exchange personal information Establish mutual relationship awareness Establish an identity as a social unit Establish relationship through public ritual Beliefs and activities that are not shared Share less private feelings Avoid communicating relationship problems Create physical distance No longer contact each other Stages of Interpersonal Relationships Forming Relationships  Building relationships with strangers depends on your ability of ? Coping with uncertainty and figuring out how to communicate with others ? Exploring possibility and discovering opportunities for positive experiences Coping with Uncertainty  A primary challenge when communicating with strangers is uncertainty ? Uncertainty reduction theory: in our initial interactions, we focus on gathering information that help us reduce uncertainty ? Self-disclosure: sharing your characteristics, experiences, feelings, attitudes, or beliefs ? A norm of reciprocity: matching our disclosure to those made by the partners by topic, quantity, and quality Exploring Possibilities  Discovering opportunities for positive experiences ? Predicted outcome value: the reward a person expects to get from a relationship in the future when it is high, we are more active in creating positive experience ? Small talks: public information, reciprocation, qualities of you that is not too private yet set you apart from others ? Limit your self-disclosures to positive information and follow broadly held social norms Escalating Relationships  Transcending personal boundaries: from more social to more personal, from less intimate to more intimate Creating a Connection  Communicating with personal relationships ? Social penetration theory: relationship escalates as self-disclosure increases in both breadth and depth Open self to hidden self Creating a Connection  Communicating with personal relationships ? Negative self-disclosure reveals vulnerability and trustworthiness ? The norm of reciprocity is replaced by responses to disclosures that convey understanding and validation Coordinating Behavior  Coordinate day-to-day activities ? Interdependence: relationship partners rely on each other to accomplish their everyday goals ? Relational turbulence model: an unavoidable part of relationship escalation is the fact that a partner might create interference or barriers to your personal goals Striving for Equity  Social exchange: the voluntary transfer of personal resources from one person to another ? The challenge in escalating relationships is to find a way to exchange resources that is perceived to be fair to both partners ? The rule of distributive justice: each partners rewards should be proportional to his or her cost Resolving Doubts  Relationship uncertainty: the lack of knowledge people have about their relationships ? Relationship talk, e.g., direct conversations with your partner ? Secret tests, e.g., flirt with a third party ? Ironically, relationship uncertainty leads to more indirect communication Ending Relationships  Relationship dissolution: the process by which previously developed relationships become less close Ending Relationships  When would you choose to end a close relationship? ? Not enough rewards (independence, similarity, support, shared time, equality, or romance) ? You have better alternatives ? You didnt invest a lot in the relationship  The investment model ? Commitment = Satisfaction (Rewards Costs) Availability of Alternatives + Resources Invested in Relationships Managing Face Threats  Face threat: experience that can make either partner feel constrained or disliked, the blow to your identity ? Indirect strategies (uncovering negative information about relationships, limiting self-disclosure, avoiding) can soften the blow, but avoiding the issue completely can cause misunderstanding and bad feelings

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