A minimum of one complete paragraph explaining your understanding of the chapter of your choice.

Chapter 11: Being Connected: Relationships in Emerging, Established, and Middle Adulthood Robert V. Kail | John C. Cavanaugh, Human Development: A Life-Span View, 9th Edition. © 2023 Cengage. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part. 1 Icebreaker: Brainstorm The following should be discussed as a class Relationships are the big focus of this chapter; both friendships and romantic relationships are discussed A debate that has taken place historically is whether romantic relationships or friendships are more important for adults during emerging and established adulthood • Before getting into the research on these ideas, what do you think—are romantic relationships or friendships more important? Why? • Does your answer change dependent on age? Are friendships vital at 20, and romantic relationships at 40? Why? • What about gender—how does that factor into your response? Robert V. Kail | John C. Cavanaugh, Human Development: A Life-Span View, 9th Edition. © 2023 Cengage. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part. 2 Chapter Objectives By the end of this chapter, you should be able to: 11.1 Describe characteristic patterns of friendship and adult love relationships 11.2 Outline differences in adult relationship lifestyles 11.3 Outline differences in family life, family forms, and parenting roles 11.4 Describe trends and the social customs of divorce and remarriage Robert V. Kail | John C. Cavanaugh, Human Development: A Life-Span View, 9th Edition. © 2023 Cengage. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part. 3 11.1: Relationship Types and Issues Robert V. Kail | John C. Cavanaugh, Human Development: A Life-Span View, 9th Edition. © 2023 Cengage. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part. 4 Key Questions 1.1 • What role do friends play across adulthood? How do they develop? • What characterizes love relationships? How do they vary across cultures? • What is the nature of violence in some relationships? Robert V. Kail | John C. Cavanaugh, Human Development: A Life-Span View, 9th Edition. © 2023 Cengage. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part. 5 Friendships • There are three broad themes of adult friendship. • The affective or emotional basis of friendship refers to self-disclosure and expressions of intimacy, appreciation, affection, and support, and all are based on trust, loyalty, and commitment • The shared or communal nature of friendship reflects how friends participate in or support activities of mutual interest • The sociability and compatibility dimension represents how our friends keep us entertained and are sources of amusement, fun, and recreation • Friendship quality is the satisfaction one derives from the relationship • With online friendships, trust is an important factor and develops based on reputation, performance (what users do online), precommitment (gained through self-disclosure), and situational factors Robert V. Kail | John C. Cavanaugh, Human Development: A Life-Span View, 9th Edition. © 2023 Cengage. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part. 6 Friendship in Adulthood • Adult friendships tend to follow a natural course and begin from shared interests • Those that progress move to sharing more intimate or personal aspects of the self • Friendships are important across adulthood, because life satisfaction is strongly related to the quality and quantity of contacts with friends • People who have diverse friendships have more positive attitudes towards people with different backgrounds • Men’s and women’s friendships are both based on geographic proximity, similarity, inclusion, and symmetrical reciprocity • Men base friendships on shared activities/interests; women are more likely to self-disclose and co-ruminate • Cross-sex friendships may present challenges due to misperceptions Robert V. Kail | John C. Cavanaugh, Human Development: A Life-Span View, 9th Edition. © 2023 Cengage. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part. 7 Love Relationships • Sternberg’s three basic components of love are: • Passion: an intense physiological desire for someone • Intimacy: the feeling that you can share all your thoughts and actions with another • Commitment: the willingness to stay with a person through good and bad times • Couples are happier when each feels the same types of love to a similar degree • The longer a relationship lasts, the lower its physical intimacy and passion, but the greater its emotional intimacy and commitment Robert V. Kail | John C. Cavanaugh, Human Development: A Life-Span View, 9th Edition. © 2023 Cengage. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part. 8 Love Through Adulthood • The early stages of romance are when passion is high, but intimacy and commitment are lower • This is also a time when affirmative consent, which requires the assurance that all involved in sexual encounters are informed, autonomous, and otherwise capable of making a valid choice regarding engaging in sexual activity, is particularly important to prevent sexual assault • Assortative mating is a theory stating that people find partners based on their similarity to each other • Homogamy is the degree to which people are similar; greater when couples meet through school or a religious setting Robert V. Kail | John C. Cavanaugh, Human Development: A Life-Span View, 9th Edition. © 2023 Cengage. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part. 9 Love Through Adulthood: Speed Dating and Online Dating • Speed dating has become more popular • Date selection and date satisfaction are higher when the date is attractive, outgoing, self-assured, and moderately self-focused • Online dating is also very common • Physical attractiveness strongly affects partner selection in online and offline contexts • Emerging hookup culture has remained popular • People of many sexual orientations are interested in having hookup sex but prefer a more romantic relationship over the long run • Three-fourths of people who engage in it eventually expressed some level of regret at having hookup sex Robert V. Kail | John C. Cavanaugh, Human Development: A Life-Span View, 9th Edition. © 2023 Cengage. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part. 10 Love Through Adulthood: Cultural Effects • In a study of 37 cultures worldwide (Buss et al., 1990), men and women in each culture displayed unique orderings of their preferences in choosing a mate • Two main dimensions emerged: • Emphasis on cultural values; traditional cultures emphasize chastity and homemaking in women, and ambition, industry, and financial prospects in men, but this is less true for Western cultures. • Relative importance of education, intelligence, and social refinement versus pleasing disposition; does not vary by gender, but does vary by culture • Nearly all cultures place importance on love and attraction Robert V. Kail | John C. Cavanaugh, Human Development: A Life-Span View, 9th Edition. © 2023 Cengage. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part. 11 Developmental Forces, Neuroscience, and Love Relationships • Love is a function of biopsychosocial forces • Love is a distinct neurological emotion system, with different stages of love involving different neurochemicals • Erikson believed that mature love is impossible without a capacity for intimacy • Additionally, the kinds of relationships you saw and experienced as a child affect how you define and act in relationships you develop as an adult Robert V. Kail | John C. Cavanaugh, Human Development: A Life-Span View, 9th Edition. © 2023 Cengage. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part. 12 Violence in Relationships • Abusive relationships are relationships in which one partner becomes violent or aggressive toward the other • Battered spouse syndrome is a situation occurring when a spouse or partner believes they cannot leave an abusive situation and may go so far as to kill their abuser • Aggressive behavior is a continuum (verbal aggression ➔ physical aggression ➔severe physical aggression ➔ murder) • Causes are more numerous and complex as its severity increases • Violence against women worldwide often reflects cultural traditions, beliefs, and values of patriarchal societies Robert V. Kail | John C. Cavanaugh, Human Development: A Life-Span View, 9th Edition. © 2023 Cengage. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part. 13 Discussion Activity: Violence in Relationships The class should discuss the following as a group In previous chapters, teen dating violence was discussed, and you thought about prevention strategies that may be helpful This chapter mentions dating violence in adulthood, which is similarly a significant problem • Think back on what you learned about ways to prevent dating violence in adolescence; would any of those work for adult dating violence? • Do you think dating violence in adulthood is harder to prevent, or easier? Why? • Should workplaces provide information about the prevention of dating violence to their employees? If so, how would you suggest that take place? Robert V. Kail | John C. Cavanaugh, Human Development: A Life-Span View, 9th Edition. © 2023 Cengage. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part. 14 11.2: Lifestyles and Relationships Robert V. Kail | John C. Cavanaugh, Human Development: A Life-Span View, 9th Edition. © 2023 Cengage. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part. 15 Key Questions 1.2 • What are the challenges and advantages of being single? • Why do people cohabit? • What is marriage like across adulthood? Robert V. Kail | John C. Cavanaugh, Human Development: A Life-Span View, 9th Edition. © 2023 Cengage. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part. 16 Singlehood • In the United States, roughly 50% of all households are headed by people who aren’t married • There are numerous biases against single people, especially women • The decision to never marry is often a gradual one • Having a strong friendship network is a major source of emotional and other support for singles Robert V. Kail | John C. Cavanaugh, Human Development: A Life-Span View, 9th Edition. © 2023 Cengage. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part. 17 Cohabitation • Cohabitation is when people in a committed, intimate, sexual relationship live together but are not married • It is becoming more common across age groups, especially for millennials and older adults • Globally, it differs by culture, but generally levels have increased drastically • On average, cohabiting couples have less relationship satisfaction and are less trusting of their partner • Reasons for cohabitation include love and companionship, but also finances and convenience Robert V. Kail | John C. Cavanaugh, Human Development: A Life-Span View, 9th Edition. © 2023 Cengage. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part. 18 Think, Pair, and Share Activity: Cohabitation Students should find a partner for this activity As mentioned in this chapter, cohabitation has gotten much more common in the last 20 years, and marriage rates have declined, both in the United States and across the world With your partner, discuss the following: • Why do you think someone would choose cohabitation, and why do you think someone would choose marriage? • What do you think the benefits are to making each of those decisions? • What are the drawbacks? Robert V. Kail | John C. Cavanaugh, Human Development: A Life-Span View, 9th Edition. © 2023 Cengage. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part. 19 Marriage • Most adults eventually want their love relationships to end in marriage, but rates are declining • Age at first marriage is about 31 for men and 28 for women in the United States • Marital success is an umbrella term referring to any marital outcome • Marital quality is a subjective evaluation of the couple’s relationship • Marital adjustment is the degree to which spouses accommodate each other over a certain period of time • Marital satisfaction is a global assessment of one’s marriage • Marriages are likelier to succeed when both partners are relatively mature, have similarity of values and interests (homogamy), are honest and committed, trust and consult each other, and make decisions jointly • Exchange theory believes that marriage is based on each partner contributing something to the relationship that the other would be hard-pressed to provide Robert V. Kail | John C. Cavanaugh, Human Development: A Life-Span View, 9th Edition. © 2023 Cengage. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part. 20 Do Married Couples Stay Happy? • Satisfaction (in marriage and cohabitation) is highest in the beginning, falls until children begin leaving home, and rises again in later life • When dependence is more equal, marriage tends to stay strong and close • The vulnerability–stress–adaptation model proposes that marital quality is a dynamic process resulting from the couple’s ability to handle stressful events in the context of their particular vulnerabilities and resources Robert V. Kail | John C. Cavanaugh, Human Development: A Life-Span View, 9th Edition. © 2023 Cengage. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part. 21 Setting the Stage: The Early Years of Marriage • Mutual adoration takes place in the early years • Focus on the positive is important for happiness • Disillusionment is an important predictor of marital dissatisfaction • Negative communication between spouses is not always a sign of trouble • Interrelational processes differ among couples based on their diversity • Time apart, such as during military deployment, can be challenging, and the outcome of such separations depends on the positive or negative belief system of the nondeployed spouse • Disillusionment and ambivalence are key predictors of marital dissatisfaction Robert V. Kail | John C. Cavanaugh, Human Development: A Life-Span View, 9th Edition. © 2023 Cengage. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part. 22 Keeping Marriages Happy • Enduring marital satisfaction is likelier when couples are flexible and adaptive • They are forgiving, understanding, and available for and interested in their partner • They can “go with the flow” • They keep the romance alive and express love • They communicate constructively and use good stress and conflict reduction strategies • They share spirituality and/or religious beliefs Robert V. Kail | John C. Cavanaugh, Human Development: A Life-Span View, 9th Edition. © 2023 Cengage. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part. 23 11.3: Family Dynamics and the Life Course Robert V. Kail | John C. Cavanaugh, Human Development: A Life-Span View, 9th Edition. © 2023 Cengage. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part. 24 Key Questions 1.3 • What is it like to be a parent? • What diverse forms of parenting are there? Robert V. Kail | John C. Cavanaugh, Human Development: A Life-Span View, 9th Edition. © 2023 Cengage. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part. 25 The Parental Role • The nuclear family consists only of parents and children (common in Western societies) • The extended family consists of parents, children, grandparents, and other relatives living together (most common form of family around the world) • Often the decision to be a parent is not explicit and does not usually involve analytical thinking • Older parents are more at ease, affectionate, sensitive, and supportive • Deciding whether to have children: • Couples are having fewer children and waiting longer to have them; an increasing number are choosing to remain child-free • Finances are a large concern for those who choose to become parents Robert V. Kail | John C. Cavanaugh, Human Development: A Life-Span View, 9th Edition. © 2023 Cengage. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part. 26 Diversity and Parenting • Ethnic and racial background are very important in terms of family structure and the parent–child relationship • Familism refers to the idea that the well-being of the family takes precedence over the concerns of individual family members • Familism and extended family are two defining characteristics of Latina/o families • Asian American families focus on cultural heritage and familism, and family obligations are important • Raising multiethnic children presents social challenges not experienced by parents of same-race children Robert V. Kail | John C. Cavanaugh, Human Development: A Life-Span View, 9th Edition. © 2023 Cengage. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part. 27 Diverse Family Forms • Solo parents (40% in United States) face considerable obstacles, but also experience many joys of parenting • The main problem is significantly reduced financial resources • Dating is also a concern for many solo parents • Military parents experience temporary solo parenting intermittently that can be anxiety provoking and stressful • Stepparents face challenges with integrating two families, especially if there are children from previous relationships for both partners • Families with children adopted from another culture pose challenges of how to establish and maintain connection with the child’s ethno-racial culture of origin • Foster parents have the most tenuous relationship with their children because the bond can be broken for several reasons • Many in the LGBTQIA+ communities also want to be parents, but some legal and social barriers remain Robert V. Kail | John C. Cavanaugh, Human Development: A Life-Span View, 9th Edition. © 2023 Cengage. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part. 28 Discussion Activity: Parenting The following should be discussed as a class This chapter of your book briefly mentions the parenting relationship and the different types of families that exist worldwide If you are comfortable, please share! • What was your family like growing up—which diverse type of family did you experience? • What did you like best about your family type? • What did you find challenging? • How do you think your culture or ethnic/racial background affected your family composition? • What type of family structure (in terms of living arrangements) would you like to have in the future? Robert V. Kail | John C. Cavanaugh, Human Development: A Life-Span View, 9th Edition. © 2023 Cengage. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part. 29 11.4: Divorce and Remarriage Robert V. Kail | John C. Cavanaugh, Human Development: A Life-Span View, 9th Edition. © 2023 Cengage. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part. 30 Key Questions 1.4 • Who gets divorced? Why? How does divorce affect parental relationships with children? • What are remarriages like? How are they similar to and different from first marriages? Robert V. Kail | John C. Cavanaugh, Human Development: A Life-Span View, 9th Edition. © 2023 Cengage. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part. 31 Divorce • American couples have a 50/50 chance of divorce, but rates have been declining since 2000 and hit a 50-year low in 2020 • Couples tend to agree on the reasons for divorce: money, infidelity, incompatibility, drinking/drug use, and partner abuse are the most common reasons • Gottman and Levenson developed two models that predict divorce early and later based on communication styles: • Negative emotions displayed during conflict between the couple predict early divorce, but not later divorce • The lack of positive emotions in a discussion of events of the day and during conflict predicts later divorce, but not early divorce • These don’t apply in all situations; for low-income and culturally diverse couples, the variables may not be as predictive Robert V. Kail | John C. Cavanaugh, Human Development: A Life-Span View, 9th Edition. © 2023 Cengage. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part. 32 Think, Pair, and Share Activity: Cohort Effects on Divorce Students should find a partner for this activity As mentioned in your textbook, divorce levels in the United States are high, but they have dropped since the year 2000 With your partner, discuss the possible cohort effects that have led to that drop • What has changed in the United States since the year 2000? • Why do you think the 50-year low for divorce rates took place in 2020? • Moving forward, do you expect rates to increase or decrease? Why? Robert V. Kail | John C. Cavanaugh, Human Development: A Life-Span View, 9th Edition. © 2023 Cengage. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part. 33 Effects of Divorce on the Couple • Divorced individuals express feeling anxious, deeply disappointed, misunderstood, and rejected, along with anger in some cases • Divorce causes financial and child support problems for women • Women who initiate the divorce report self-focused growth and optimism • Adjustment to single life is better for people less preoccupied with, less hostile toward, and more forgiving of their ex • Financial problems are common for divorced people who were not previously employed for pay Robert V. Kail | John C. Cavanaugh, Human Development: A Life-Span View, 9th Edition. © 2023 Cengage. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part. 34 Relationships with Children of Divorce • Both parents pay a price for divorce: • Mothers tend to get custody of children, but often lack sufficient financial resources to support them • Fathers’ contact with their children is often limited, and as a result their involvement in their children’s lives decreases • Collaborative divorce is a voluntary, contractually based agreement for couples to negotiate a resolution of their situation rather than having a court or an arbitrator impose the terms • Parental divorce negatively affects adult children in many ways; children experience a great deal of emotional vulnerability and stress, and often feel that their “home” will never be the same Robert V. Kail | John C. Cavanaugh, Human Development: A Life-Span View, 9th Edition. © 2023 Cengage. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part. 35 Remarriage • The rate at which people remarry has dropped significantly since the mid-20th century, especially since the year 2000 • Dropped 50% for 20 to 35-year-olds • Remarriages have a higher rate of divorce than original marriages, possibly due to the stress of adapting to new relationships in marriage • Cultural differences are apparent in the ability of women to remarry • Adult children may voice strong opposition to their parent remarrying that can lead the parent to remain single Robert V. Kail | John C. Cavanaugh, Human Development: A Life-Span View, 9th Edition. © 2023 Cengage. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part. 36 Self Assessment Students should work alone on this assessment This chapter begins with a discussion of adult friendships. Based on what you’ve learned in this section, please answer the following questions: • What is the importance of friendships in adulthood? • Are there differences in same-sex friendships for men and women? • How common are cross-sex friendships? How are they similar to and different from same-sex friendships? • How and where do adults make friends? Robert V. Kail | John C. Cavanaugh, Human Development: A Life-Span View, 9th Edition. © 2023 Cengage. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part. 37 Chapter Summary Now that the lesson has ended, you should have learned how to: 11.1 Describe characteristic patterns of friendship and adult love relationships 11.2 Outline differences in adult relationship lifestyles 11.3 Outline differences in family life, family forms, and parenting roles 11.4 Describe trends and the social customs of divorce and remarriage Robert V. Kail | John C. Cavanaugh, Human Development: A Life-Span View, 9th Edition. © 2023 Cengage. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part. 38

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