Business Writing -Negative Messages and Indirect Approach
As defined over the last few weeks, negative messages are those where the audience is unlikely to welcome your news. The focus here is on the recipient; it doesn’t matter if the writer agrees that the news is bad, only that the reader may think so. In that light, and especially if the writer wants the reader to absorb and act upon the information, the writer needs to consider the recipient’s state of mind and write an introduction that will capture their attention in an appropriately honest and thoughtful way.
Hence the indirect approach. Here, the writer offers a first line that hints at the news to come, or sets the stage, and then, at the end of their introduction, they deliver it. A letter with an indirect approach does NOT LEAVE OUT bad news, it just doesn’t say it first. I like to think of the indirect opening sentence as a bumper on a car; it’s a shock absorber for the hit, it doesn’t ignore the hit.
There are several strategies our textbook suggests (pp. 197-198) as buffers:
1. Best News: If a customer is getting a benefit, you can lead with this. I always think of Verizon here (or any phone company). We are happy to tell you we are increasing our service reach and internet speed… Oh goodie. But you have to pay for this, so your bill is going up. The buffer works because you feel like this might be a fair trade off. The word might is key here, not everyone will agree, and some of us can smell a rat, so use this judiciously.
2. Compliment: This needs to be genuine, you can’t say it as a distraction . The North Shore Animal League is a wonderful organization, but sorry I can’t buy a corporate table for the benefit can work if the compliment is genuine, and not an excuse. You are a valued employee, but we’re firing you smacks of doublespeak.
3. Appreciation: You can be thankful for people and situations, and yet have to deliver bad news. It was lovely meeting you on Friday, but we’ve chosen a different florist for the wedding. This works when you genuinely want to maintain relationships.
4. Agreement: If you and the reader share a common understanding, this line is a good lead-in. As you know, our restaurant has had to llmit indoor dining due to Covid restrictions is a common fact a waiter knows, and it lays the groundwork for bad employment news to follow. As you know, our corporate funds are limited is NOT a common fact when the employee makes minimum wage and the owner is wealthy.
5. Facts: This is my favorite option when done right. College admissions, job layoffs, grant offers: all of these subjective decisions are fueled by many objective considerations that can be explained to anyone who must receive bad news. The key is to be exact in the facts and spell out the link without either going overboard, or being too vague. You can’t blame everything on Covid, for example, but Covid is the root cause of a cascade of events that might impact the call the writer has made. You could explain to the waiter above, for example, how traffic in the restaurant is down by 80%. Just don’t cite a figure that isn’t relevant; don’t say the restaurant industry has suffered a 75% drop in revenues if your store has broken even with take out contracts.
6. Understanding: This is about listening and respecting the reader. Sometimes it is all we can do. You may have used this in the last homework, Thank you for sharing your experience with us….and then pivot to the news. Just don’t get treacly here, or be fake.
Once you have chosen a buffer, you can strategically place the bad news at the end of the introduction, and you may even choose to use passive voice. The point is, there are stylistic ways to convey bad news as we write, but we do not avoid saying it. In the body, as always, explain the relevant details. What is happening when, to whom, how will it work? Think about the questions the reader will have and answer them simply. In the close, consider action to be taken.What does the reader need to do, what can they do? Have you provided necessary information for this to happen? How do you want them to remember you, how can you ensure they will stay in contact if this is important?
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