Katie’s story: In my own words This has all happened
Katie’s story: In my own words
This has all happened so fast, I can’t believe my baby is gone. Just yesterday, everything seemed fine.
A few hours before I phoned Dr. Brenan’s office, I started noticing she wasn’t moving around as much. I tried orange juice, just like the nurse told me to. It didn’t help.
I would have gotten to the hospital sooner, but I had to wait for my husband to find someone to take over his route, he’s a long-distance trucker and was just starting a new job. I felt bad for making him come home, but the nurse said I needed a driver.
When I got to the hospital, they hooked me up to some monitors and then immediately rushed me into surgery. It was like a fire or something.
Next thing I know, I’m on the operating table and my husband is crying, the nurses looked so sad. Dr. Grey told me that Isabelle was dead. She said there was nothing anyone could have done, that Isabelle probably died of natural causes in the womb. They told us that usually parents aren’t ever able to figure out what happened, that the problem was most likely that Isabelle wasn’t developing right. But what if it was something I did? I mean, I take the bus to work – think of all those fumes. My mother-in-law told me to quit working when I got pregnant. She will blame me for this, I know it. She already doesn’t like me. She told me so many times that I was waiting too long to have kids.
Maybe I did wait too long. Dr. Brenan called me a geriatric pregnancy. Could that be why Isabelle died? I just can’t believe she’s gone. The nurses tried to get me to hold her, they said it would help, but isn’t that gross? What would she feel like? Do most people want to hold their baby at times like this? What good would it do? What happens now? Do we have a funeral? Do we tell people? Oh God, the girls at work are throwing me a baby shower next week. And what about all the bank customers? People are going to think I’m still pregnant. I can’t face anyone. What if my mother-in-law blames me and tells my husband? What if my husband blames me? What if we can’t ever have kids? I’m almost forty years old. I didn’t want to have kids right away and then it took forever to get pregnant. He told me before we even got married that he wanted to have three kids. Now we might not have any. My mother-in-law wants grandchildren so badly. Isabelle was going to be born in two and a half months. We have her nursery all ready. What will we do with all of her stuff? I can’t face it. I just can’t. What should I do?
Pick 10 questions and a give a nonverbal and verbal therapeutic response to each
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