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19

2 The Coaching Manager

Model—An Overview

In Chapter 1, we gave you our definition of developmental coaching, but the textbook rarely does justice to a significant human interaction. Let’s start then with an actual story, a case study. The identity, industry, and com- pany of the characters in the case have been disguised, but the situation is quite real. In addition to illustrating the coaching process, we’re going to use the case to illustrate some of the challenges coaching managers and those who work with them are likely to face in the organizational world today. Coaching has always been a highly desired and rarely practiced managerial competency. As stated in Chapter 1, the chief “excuse” we hear with regard

In this chapter, we will

• Provide an overview of the Coaching Manager Model of developmen- tal coaching in practice through an in-depth case example

• Introduce the key components of the model, which are the coaching culture, the coaching manager mindset, the “coachee,” the learning opportunity, reflection and dialogue, feedback, and finally, the action plan

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20—— The Coaching Manager

to why managers don’t coach has to do with time. We would propose how- ever that while time is certainly a critical resource for most managers, it is likely not the culprit here. Why do we say this? As you look at the following case, consider the role that time plays. Why can’t these people find the time to “coach”?

Tonia and Ashok

Tonia is an engineer in the product development group of a mid-sized tech- nology firm. She’s had a successful career to date, based largely on the strength of her ideas and ability to come up with solutions to the most dif- ficult of problems. Only 8 years out of her undergraduate engineering degree, she’s also known for being very creative. Ashok, her new manager, took over leadership of the group several months ago, after a successful period managing the company’s research group. He has been encouraged to “help her move to the next level” by his own manager, the division vice president. The company has a fairly good track record of identifying talented employees and fostering their development, though as with most such efforts, there is considerable variation from manager to manager.

Ashok had been lucky. He came to the company 2 years ago after several very successful periods at other technology-oriented firms, working as an engineer. He wanted to be a manager though. When he joined the company, his manager was one of those who had been interested in the development of his direct reports. His help was critical to Ashok’s development as a leader. Ashok felt grateful for that help and worked to adopt aspects of his former boss’s style when he could. Ashok was fascinated by the idea of tal- ent. He tried to always keep his eyes open for those who he felt were excep- tional within the company and beyond. In the back of his mind, he was very aware that as a manager you are absolutely dependent on the talent of your people. You never know when you may need someone to help you out.

When Ashok took over the group, he made a point of sitting down with each of the engineers on his team and get to know them. This was not an easy task to accomplish as the group was spread over three offices in three different parts of the country. He made sure those first sessions were in person, however. He was uncomfortable dealing with important relation- ship building work solely over the telephone or even by videoconferencing.

He listened to their ideas, concerns, and aspirations for the group and was overall pleased with what he heard, though the group did face some serious challenges. The technology that was a center piece of the company’s strategy was rapidly becoming vulnerable to disruption. New technologies

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The Coaching Manager Model—An Overview 21

coming out of competitors were able to solve customer problems more quickly and as such, threatened the company’s long-term prospects. The product engineers in particular were going to have to engage in a radical overhaul of their proprietary technology if they were to remain competitive. They had a number of great ideas for doing so, too many in fact. The 10 engineers in the group had 10 very different points of view regarding how to proceed.

Tonia’s ideas had gotten some serious attention from senior manage- ment, more so than her peers’. Ashok agreed that the direction she offered was worthy of immediate attention and resources. Within the group, some of the engineers were likely to feel quite disappointed at the prioritization that would have to take place. Ashok couldn’t lose them, they were all valuable to the group and the company. Most could easily get jobs else- where. Tonia, with his help, would have to win enough support from her colleagues to move ahead and keep the group intact.

Ashok saw Tonia has someone with fairly good though not great inter- personal and leadership skills. She was certainly pleasant, but she could also push others very hard. He wished that she had had a bit more previous experience as a leader before taking on a leadership role in this project, but felt she could grow into the job with some support, which was after all her idea. He sometimes wondered whether or not her being the only woman in the group was a challenge for her. He found a way to ask her about this in one of their initial meetings, but her response was somewhat vague. As she said, “the guys are fine, no problem.” After getting to know the group a bit, Ashok was reassured that everyone was behaving professionally, but he was also aware that social identity differences can influence comfort levels, the sharing of ideas, and sometimes even trust. Tonia’s interpersonal skills were likely to be challenged regardless.

Ashok let Tonia know that senior management felt that her vision offered important potential for the company and that resources should be devoted to creating a plan, prototyping, and testing. She was being asked to take on the project lead role. They could not at this point predict with certainty that the direction she was proposing was the right direction; they would simply have to test it and see. He also made it clear to her that he and the company needed her to help the rest of the product engineering team get on board with prioritizing this direction that was likely to be con- troversial. She would have to rebuild the team around her vision, in spite of some likely bruised egos and disappointment.

The two began to work out a plan. Tonia was clearly aware that this was going to be a challenge on multiple levels and was open about her concerns. She found Ashok to be a good listener, and though they didn’t know each

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22—— The Coaching Manager

other well yet, she had the sense that he was trustworthy. Perhaps it was the ability to directly give critical feedback when appropriate; perhaps it was the fact that he always seemed to follow through on his commitments; per- haps it was the fact that he asked for feedback as he began to take on the leadership role and actually listened to that feedback. He didn’t retaliate or become defensive; he tried to address the issues.

However, Tonia knew that she was a very prideful person. She had a dif- ficult time admitting she needed help, even to herself. Her previous manager was a very nice person, easy to get along with most of the time. However, he was quite controlling and risk averse. She learned that she better not show up in his office with a problem. That was fine with her because she prided herself on figuring things out on her own. However, she had never had quite the level of responsibility she sought. She wanted to have a broader impact, and perhaps to become an engineering manager at some point. She was savvy enough to know that she was going to need his sup- port regardless, so she was determined to make things work with Ashok.

Ashok was clear with her about the two outcomes he was hoping for: get the prototypes done on time and keep the group together. The deadline was not negotiable and “Lose no one.” Of course, you can’t force people to commit to a plan; you have to invite them. They asked themselves whether or not the work that would be needed would be of interest to other mem- bers of the team, and they felt it likely would be. If they were successful, and got the project done on time, they all stood to gain, not just Tonia.

Ashok was bringing in everyone on the team for a face-to-face set of meetings in the next week. He would announce the new direction and dis- cuss it with the team. He wanted to be clear that he’s inviting everyone to participate and that their participation was critically important, but that Tonia will be the team project leader. Tonia would then meet with each individual on the team in person over the next several weeks to discuss the project in depth and discuss the kinds of contributions each could make and to seek out their ideas and recommendations.

Tonia knew some of those meetings could be difficult. Ashok also thought she was going to be facing some tough meetings and suggested Tonia and he discuss the concerns they might have about each individual prior to those meetings. Ideally, this would help Tonia think through the best approach for each individual involved. This would take additional time, but Tonia was very likely to fail if she didn’t get some extra support. She had the potential to lead, but she wasn’t a veteran leader quite yet. If she got off to a bad start in managing these relationships, it could slow the project down considerably. Tonia was relieved at the offer though she was not aware of just how much she had to learn at this point.

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The Coaching Manager Model—An Overview 23

The initial team meeting went relatively well. There was some disap- pointment expressed by some members of the team, but most took the position: “We need to know more and we would like to provide some input once we learn more.” They also naturally wondered what this would mean for each of them. Some were circumspect and didn’t reveal their reactions to Tonia’s project leadership role. The idea of the individual meetings appealed to most of them, particularly since Tonia offered to travel to each of their locations and meet with each of the engineers face to face.

The first individual meeting, with George, went very well, as she and Ashok had expected. She knew George to be open minded and they had worked well together previously. Tonia ended up feeling as though she got more than she gave in terms of learning as George had already done some homework and had a wealth of ideas. She began to really see how the con- tributions of the others would be essential. She also began to feel a bit more humble about her capabilities. However, she had some dread about the next planned meeting, with Sam. She was relieved that she’d be talking this one over with Ashok via telephone tonight.

She and Sam had had something of a stormy relationship in the past. She admired his engineering skill and considered him to be extremely smart. However, he was also very opinionated and they had had a few clashes. Sam was very attached to an alternative plan, probably the only other one to get serious attention from top management. He also was someone who might have felt very competitive with whoever took charge of the project if it wasn’t himself. He was silent in the initial all team meeting. Ashok began their evening call as he usually does, with a question:

“So, your next one is with Sam, right? I’m not sure where he stands. We have to have him on board. What’s your plan?”

“I’m still thinking this through,” Tonia replied. I don’t know any other way to put it to him. This is the direction we’re going, and we hope he’ll get on board.”

“How do you think he’ll react? Any idea?” Ashok wondered. “I don’t know. If I were him, I’d probably be pretty disappointed, even

angry.” Ashok queried, “Ever been in a similar situation, faced what he’s facing

now?” “Oh sure, this was before your time, but I lost a big debate over a major

change in the software a few years back. I was sure I had the best possible approach. I was annoyed, and I still think the company made a bad decision.”

“So I heard,” replied Ashok. Did you eventually come around to the direction chosen?”

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24—— The Coaching Manager

“Yes, I did. I thought I’d learn a lot about the technology that was cho- sen, and though I still think that was the wrong decision, I did find working on the program to be personally valuable,” remembered Tonia.

“Yeah, with engineers and scientists, the learning perspective is very important. Is there any way that just participating in this project could help Sam’s career?” Ashok wondered.

“That’s an interesting question,” thought Tonia. “Let me give that some thought,” Tonia continued, “I need to consider that more with everyone, not just Sam. I guess the vision behind this plan isn’t likely to generate a cheerleading squad by itself.”

“Probably not,” Ashok said with a smile. Tonia then began to formalize her plan for the meeting, such as it was.

“I’m going to have to just ask them about that, find out what connections they see, for themselves personally. I can’t know that for sure unless I ask. It’s too important to guess.”

Ashok agreed, “Yes, way too important.” Tonia then talked over a few ways to approach the meeting, but they both agreed that there was no one right way, she’ll just have to try and see what happens, listen and watch for cues. “Call me tomorrow, let me know how it went. I can call Sam if neces- sary, but somehow I think that would not be all that useful. It means more if it is between the two of you.” Tonia agreed.

The meeting with Sam was indeed challenging. Sam was professional, but he made it clear that he was indeed very disappointed, if not angry. He talked about that disappointment at length. Tonia was surprised by his intensity, and taken aback. She wasn’t sure what to do so she just listened. They didn’t reach closure on a next step. That night, Tonia called Ashok.

“Well, it did not go all that well.” Tonia then explained what happened. She somewhat expected Ashok to criticize her for not making more prog- ress. He did not.

“You sound disappointed,” Ashok replied. “What were you hoping for?” Tonia explained that she hoped they could have talked more about how

Sam could contribute to the new plan rather than just venting about what happened. She feared that she appeared weak. She was surprised at her own reaction. Unfortunately, she was scheduled to leave for home first thing in the morning.

Ashok suggested that “perhaps listening is what you needed to do. What makes you think you appeared weak?”

Tonia responded, “Because I didn’t get to make my case, he hasn’t really tried to understand what we’re proposing here and I just spent all my time listening. I wasn’t assertive. I guess I just wasn’t ready for how angry he was.”

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The Coaching Manager Model—An Overview 25

“Perhaps not, but sometimes you get lucky. Maybe listening helped. You’re right though. Hopefully listening settled him down, but there is more work to do I suspect. Maybe you’re not finished just yet.”

“No, not at all,” replied Tonia. “I’m going to have to change my plans and give it another try tomorrow. That will give us both a chance to sleep on it.” Ashok agreed. Tonia then sent an e-mail to Sam, appreciating his candor today and stating that she’d like to continue to the discussion tomorrow. She thought she could change her travel plans. Sam quickly replied that he could make time in his schedule. Tonia e-mailed her team’s administrator to ask for help in changing her flight.

Our Reactions to the Case

We’ve talked with many highly effective “coaching managers” such as Ashok. Our most basic reactions are usually similar. “Wouldn’t it be great to work for someone like her (or him).” Let’s try to break this down with a bit more specificity, however.

It is quite likely that at least some of you reading that story will be able to identify with either or both of the parties. You may not see this as a

Your Reactions to the Case

Before going any further, stop and consider your own response to this story. Does it strike you as an example of good management, perhaps the kind you have (hopefully) experienced from time to time? Does it strike you as perhaps “too good?” Perhaps it seems unrealistic. Can we really expect managers, ourselves in other words, to react this way? Are we ask- ing too much of such an organization? Is this the kind of place you might dream of working? Is Ashok the kind of manager you would like to have, or to become? At the end of Chapter 1, we asked you to assess your mind- set as you explore developmental coaching. What attitudes do you take to the challenge? As with all management, and perhaps with much of life, you may actually have two challenges before you. It is a given that most of us can get better at something, learning more about something, improve our skill set. We all have a lot to learn. What do we have to unlearn? What bad habits, norms, traditions and beliefs get in the way of our ability to improve? That’s another way of asking you to consider the question of your own reaction to the case.

Exercise 2.1Exercise 2.1

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26—— The Coaching Manager

coaching story. It reads more like a typical business or maybe a change management case. This is a classic coaching situation and set of coaching conversations in our view, however. But, it is indeed very much a business case as well. Why do we say that? We asked you earlier to consider the role that time plays in this case. Are you surprised under the circumstances that Ashok and Tonia are spending all this time (probably about ten minutes a night in reality) discussing how to make this new direction for the team work? You shouldn’t be. This team is very important to the survival of the company. Does that make it worth the time? We would answer that ques- tion with a resounding, “YES!” Tonia’s not done this type of work before, and she could really fail to deliver on either or both of the company’s goals for the project. They’re spending time on it because they essentially have no choice, though there is another really good reason for taking this time. Note, however, that you may have known some managers (perhaps yourself included) who did not take the time, and just threw someone into a highly demanding role for which they were not fully prepared. This is known as the “sink-or-swim” theory of leadership development. Sometimes good people do swim, but sometimes they sink. When it’s important, we like to improve the odds of swimming, that is, success, if possible.

Here’s the other reason for taking the time. Is Tonia learning anything important, gaining knowledge that is likely to stick with her and help her become a better business leader as well as being a really good engineer? Again, we would respond with a resounding “YES!” This young engineer could well evolve into a very sophisticated engineering manager or general manager. Imagine the value that she would have for the company if that could happen over the long term. In addition, however, will this investment of time likely result in a greater sense of satisfaction with her job on her part? We would suggest yes, which would increase the likelihood that such valuable talent will stay with the company rather than move to another firm that might pay more attention to her development. Consider the alternative as well. What if, having earned this big break, she fails miserably because she gets into a situation with one or more team members that undermines the project time table and results in one or more of the engineers leaving. Where does that leave her, Ashok, and the company?

In our discussions with managers who coach, we have found that coach- ing and talent development are intimately linked with day-to-day business challenges. The coaching in a sense blends into the overall workings of a team or unit. Frequently, though there are exceptions, coaching does not stand apart as an activity that takes place on special occasions or at a spe- cific designated time. How does that work? We’ll try to answer that question by describing the Coaching Manager Model of developmental coaching.

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The Coaching Manager Model—An Overview 27

The Coaching Manager Model

As we begin to more formally describe the Coaching Manager Model, we have found it useful to consider the distinction between the factors that enable a successful coaching experience for all parties, from the actual act of coaching itself. You might think of the enabling factors as the ship on which the journey takes place. A well-built ship can handle a lot of problems, a poorly built one maybe less so.

You’ll note that our description of the background of the case, the ship to continue the analogy, actually required far more “words” than the coaching conversations themselves. Coaching seems to flow naturally in this context, between these people even though in this case it was planned. That was no accident. That context was shaped by Ashok and perhaps even more by many implicit and explicit decisions made by senior managers and others that created a generally positive attitude toward talent development. Though we have known many managers who are highly effective coaches in highly dysfunctional contexts, the context can help a great deal, and we see it here. We’ll have much more to say about that later in this chapter, and in much greater detail in subsequent chapters.

You’ll also note that while the coaching activity seems quite natural, it does not necessarily take place under ideal conditions. The actual coaching conversations took place by phone for the most part because the parties are in different cities at this point in time. The manager and “coachee” (a term will use often in the book) aren’t particularly close; they are still building their relationship. However, they have a developing solid working relation- ship and put at least some time into making that happen. Ashok in fact spends time building relationships with his direct reports, knowing that the relationship is of critical importance in dealing with the many day-to-day challenges that people face when trying to work collaboratively.

You’ll also notice that, in contrast to the impressions some people have of coaching in the work place, no psychoanalysis is taking place here. No one is even talking about learning and career development. What are they talking about? They are talking about very specific business challenges, and how to achieve some fairly clear goals. They are talking about problem solving, only in this case, the problems are both technological and human. We would submit that the process of problem solving, among other busi- ness processes, can inherently be leveraged for learning purposes and that it is natural to do so, if done with learning in mind. It depends on how one goes about working on those problems.

Take another look at the short conversations presented here. The tone is actually fairly supportive though there is a sense of urgency. Ashok asks

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28—— The Coaching Manager

questions, listens, and in doing so encourages Tonia to think through what she is up against and what options might be possible for dealing with those challenges. After all, Tonia’s the person who has to get the work done. Her perspective is actually the one that counts the most here. Her eyes and ears are “on the ground.”

There is also a little bit of feedback and guidance thrown in, but not that much. Ashok is helping Tonia think and come up with some reasonable solutions on her own. Again, she’s the one who

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