According to The Encyclopedia of Human Relations (2009) when meeting in person, the thing that is most important when deciding whether or not to approach a potential mate, is the other persons physical appearance.

According to The Encyclopedia of Human Relations (2009) when meeting in person, the thing that is most important when deciding whether or not to approach a potential mate, is the other persons physical appearance. Even if we are not aware that we are doing it, we tend to immediately start processing the physical characteristics of the other person for their attractiveness. It also states that we tend to associate personality traits with someones attractiveness, positive to positive, negative to negative. So, if we find someone physically attractive, we tend to automatically assume that they will have personality traits that we will find attractive as well. If we are meeting someone over the internet with no indication of what the person looks like, then this all changes. When people meet online in a way that does not immediately include a way to see their physical appearance, then physical appearance does not seem to become a barrier to further interaction. Since people who are meeting potential mates in this way do not know what each other look like, they bond on more personality-based levels. This method of meeting potential mates is especially helpful when looking for people who have similar interests to your own, especially if those interests are less common or very specific. Since people meeting this way are bonding over things they share in common, when they do meet in person, the level of physical attractiveness they feel for one another is less important than if they had initially met in person.

The article by Buss and Schmitt (1993) gives many variables that are important when looking for a long-term mate. When looking for a potential long-term mate, parenting skills is one of the important variables. Things that would seem to indicate that someone would have good parenting skills are traits such as responsibility, stability, and understanding. Another variable that is discussed is how men tend to chose potential mates that are younger than they are. The article mentioned that there are many studies conducted in many different countries that concur with one another than men tend to choose younger mates. Both men and women look for long-term mates that will remain faithful, with men being more concerned about physical infidelity, and women being more concerned with emotional infidelity. Among the theories listed in the article about why people choose the mates they do, the common thread appears to be that we choose long-term mates that will bring a balance to our lives, or that we have a lot in common with.

Given all that was learned in this weeks reading, it appears that it would not be too difficult to accurately predict who would be a better match for John in the Pick the Right Date interactive. The most important variables in 22-year-old Johns bio are that he is educated, he loves the outdoors, he loves dogs, he is an atheist, he wants children, and he has a romantic personality. Using the variable that people tend to go for balance and/or similarity in a long-term relationship, the contestants Susan and Karen would not be compatible as they are both quite religious people. A difference in religious views that is that extreme would not lead to a strong long-term relationship. They are also both older than him, and Karen is allergic to dogs. While the age variable may not be important to John as an individual, even though this weeks reading says it is to most men, it would mean less time to decide on children since these women are older than him. If he were older this may be different. I am older than my husband, so deciding on having children was a more immediate conversation than it would have been if we were the same age, or if my husband was the older one. Johns long-term relationship success with Angela would have a bit more of a chance than the other two women, since she is also of a scientific mind, is agnostic, likes animals, and is only one year older than him. However, she already has a child and does not want more. This could be a problem down the road if John decides that having a child of his own is really important to him. He is young, though, and sometimes people change their minds about children as they age, and since Angela has one, and he could at least be a stepfather, I would not rule out Angela completely, she just does not seem to be as good of a long-term match as the last candidate, Deborah. Deborah is who John would have the most chance of success with a long-term relationship. She is younger than he is, she has similar religious views, wants the same number of children, is also scientifically minded, and likes the outdoors and animals. The two of them have a lot in common and have stated similar long-term goals, so given the variables listed in this weeks reading, this is the candidate that has the most chance of success.

References

Buss, D. M., & Schmitt, D. P. (1993). Sexual Strategies Theory: An evolutionary perspective on human mating. Psychological Review, 100(2), 204232. https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-295x.100.2.204

Reis, H.T., & Sprecher, S. (2009). Encyclopedia of Human Relationships. SAGE Publications, Inc.