This will help you understand the structure of paragraphing when writing. Chapter 5 is attached with questions to follow…. What is a topic sentence? Why is it impo

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In this chapter, you will learn how to: 5.1 Create effective paragraphs that have unity.

5.2 Apply different strategies for the placement of topic sentences.

5.3 Write paragraphs that are well developed.

5.4 Use a variety of paragraph organizational patterns.

5.5 Achieve coherence in your paragraphs.

5.6 Write introduction, transition, and conclusion paragraphs using a variety

of strategies.

Imagine the difficulty of reading a magazine article or book if you were faced with one solid block of text. How could you sort its ideas or know the best places to pause for thought? Paragraphs help guide readers through longer pieces of writing.

■■ Some break lengthy discussions of one idea into segments of different emphasis, thus providing rest stops for readers.

■■ Others consolidate several briefly developed ideas. Yet others begin or end pieces of writing or link major segments together.

■■ Most paragraphs, though, include a number of sentences that develop and clarify one idea.

Throughout a piece of writing, paragraphs relate to one another and reflect a controlling purpose. To make paragraphs fit together smoothly, you can’t just sit down and dash them off. Instead, you first need to reflect on the entire essay, then channel your thoughts toward its different segments. Often you’ll have to revise your paragraphs after you’ve written a draft.

Effective paragraphs are unified, contain a topic sentence, exhibit adequate development, offer clear organization, and exhibit coherence.

5ChApter Paragraphs

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85Unity

Unity A paragraph with unity develops one, and only one, key controlling idea. To ensure unity, edit out any stray ideas that don’t belong and fight the urge to take interesting but irrelevant side trips; they only create confusion about your destination.

The following paragraph lacks unity:

The Montessori Method for teaching math in the earliest grades builds on the child’s natural link to physical objects and concrete learning. Spelling and reading are also taught with special materials. It was the psychologist Piaget who recognized that there were different kinds of cognition from the concrete to the more abstract. Maria Montessori was a pioneer in applying insights into how children actually think to the classroom.

What exactly is this writer trying to say? We can’t tell. Each sentence expresses a different, undeveloped idea:

1. The use of concrete materials to teach math. 2. The use of special materials to teach spelling and reading. 3. Piaget’s contribution in identifying levels of intelligence. 4. Maria Montessori’s contribution to education.

In contrast, the following paragraph develops and clarifies only one central idea, the Montessori Method’s use of concrete materials to teach math:

The Montessori Method for teaching math in the earliest grades builds on the child’s natural link to physical objects and concrete learning. Children count out unit beads. When they reach 10 unit beads, they can exchange them for a ten-bar, a line of 10 linked beads. Ten ten-bars can be exchanged for one one-hundred square. By physically placing unit beads, ten-lines, and hundred-squares on a mat, children quickly learn about the units, tens, and hundreds place and how to carry. These concrete tools can also help children learn addition and subtraction. Chil- dren lay out a number like 236 on a mat as well as the number 165. They add them together, counting up the five and the six to get eleven and exchanging 10 unit- beads for the ten-bar leaving one unit bead, adding up the now 10 ten-bars and exchanging them for a hundred-square and then reading out the resulting number of 401. While the description of the procedure may sound complicated, the actual process of using these concrete materials to understand addition and carrying is easy for children to grasp.

Diane Honegger, student

Because no unrelated ideas sidetrack the discussion, the paragraph has unity. To check your paragraphs for unity, ask yourself what each one aims to do and whether each sentence helps that aim.

5.1 Create effective para- graphs that have unity.

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86 ChApter 5 paragraphs

EXERCISE After reading the next two paragraphs, answer the questions that follow.

1. The legend—in Africa—that all elephants over a large geographical area go to a common “graveyard” when they sense death is approaching led many hunters to treat them with special cruelty. Ivory hunters, believing the myth and trying to locate such graveyards, often intentionally wounded an elephant in the hopes of following the suffering beast as it made its way to the place where it wanted to die. The idea was to wound the elephant seriously enough so that it thought it was going to die but not so seriously that it died in a very short time. All too often, the process resulted in a single elephant being shot or speared many times and relentlessly pursued until it either fell dead or was killed when it finally turned and charged its attackers. In any case, no wounded elephant ever led its pursuers to the mythical graveyard with its hoped-for booty of ivory tusks.

Kris Hurrell, student

2. It is not surprising that the sales figures for CDs keep slumping since it is easier and more convenient to download the music buyers want from the Internet. The online music stores, such as iTunes, are very easy to use with simple instructions for searching for music and making purchases. Music fans can quickly find the performers or albums of their choice, even obscure works, from the convenience of their living room without having to drive from store to store. Then they can buy either the songs or entire albums that interest them. Once downloaded, they can either burn a CD to play on more traditional stereos or copy the music to an mp3 player of some kind. The effects have been devastating on the music retail industry. Major stores such as Tower Records went out of business. Barnes and Noble has cut back on the number of CDs that the chain sells. The shift to online distribution of music has had the added advantage of allowing alternative groups to present their music that they would have had trouble getting made into CDs and distributed through major chains. This also ends the potential impact of major chains such as Wal-Mart on what music is sold.

Anonymous, student

1. Which of these paragraphs lacks unity? Refer to the paragraphs when answering. 2. How would you improve the paragraph that lacks unity?

The Topic Sentence The topic sentence states the main idea of the paragraph. Think of the topic sentence as a rallying point, with all supporting sentences developing the idea it expresses. A good topic sentence helps you gauge what information belongs in a paragraph, thus ensuring unity. At the same time, it informs your reader about the point you’re making.

Placement of the topic sentence varies from paragraph to paragraph, as the following examples show. As you read each, note how supporting information develops the topic sentence, which is highlighted.

5.2 Apply different strategies for the placement of topic sentences.

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Topic Sentence Stated First Many paragraphs open with the topic sen- tence. The writer reveals the central idea immediately and then builds from a solid base.

It has long been my belief that everyone’s library contains an Odd Shelf. On this shelf rests a small, mysterious corpus of volume whose subject matter is com- pletely unrelated to the rest of the library, yet which, upon close inspection, reveals a good deal about its owner. George Orwell’s Odd Shelf held a collection of bound sets of ladies’ magazines from the 1860’s, which he liked to read in his bathtub. Philip Larkin had an especially capacious Odd Shelf crammed with pornography, with an emphasis on spanking. Vice Admiral James Stockdale, having heard that Frederick the Great had never embarked on a campaign without his copy of The Encheiridion, brought to Vietnam the complete works of Epictetus, whose Stoic philosophy was to sustain him through eight years as a prisoner of war.

Anne Fadiman, Ex Libris: Confessions of a Common Reader

Topic Sentence Stated Last In order to emphasize the support and build gradually to a conclusion, a topic sentence can end the paragraph. This posi- tion creates suspense as the reader anticipates the summarizing remark.

One of the biggest of the Big Questions of existence is, Are (sic) we alone in the universe? Science has provided no convincing evidence one way or the other. It is certainly possible that life began with a bizarre quirk of chemistry, an accident so improbable that it happened only once in the entire observable universe, and we are it. On the other hand, maybe life gets going wherever there are Earthlike plan- ets. We just don’t know, (sic) because we have a sample of only one. However, no known scientific principle suggests an inbuilt drive from matter to life. No known law of physics or chemistry favors the emergence of the living state over other states. Physics and chemistry are, as far as we can tell, “life blind.”

Paul C. W. Davies, What We Believe But Cannot Prove

Topic Sentence Stated First and Last Some paragraphs lead with the main idea and then restate it, usually in different words, at the end. This tech- nique allows the writer to repeat an especially important idea.

If schoolchildren ever learn anything about this far-flung place, it is usually no more than the events on Signal Hill. From the ordinary square-mile of granite, the modern world seemed to launch itself. First, Guglielmo Marconi clambered up there in 1901, and received the first radio-waves skittering over the ocean. Then came Alcock and Brown in their preposterous aeroplane, and Charles Lindbergh, en route from New York. But this isn’t Newfoundland’s story, more the history of passersby. As to what happened in the other 41,999 square miles of Newfoundland, or in Labrador, this is a blank that most children will carry into adulthood.

John Gimlett, Theater of Fish: Travels Through Newfoundland and Labrador

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Topic Sentence Stated in the Middle On occasion, the topic sentence falls between one set of sentences that provides background information and a follow-up set that develops the central idea. This arrangement allows the writer to shift the emphasis and at the same time preserve close ties between the two sets.

Priming people with suggestions can be useful in certain cases. For older folks, it can help them recover real memories. So many elderly people seem unable to “put their finger on” a past experience. But often this is not because the memory has been erased; it’s just that the person can’t initiate the process of retrieving it. Give such people a beginning—some fact to organize around—and they can then pull all the pieces together. They can remember the word, the name, and the action, and then feel very much relieved. Aging is the most common factor that compromises the memory of us all, and its effects are being studied intensively.

John J. Tratey, M.D., A User’s Guide to the Brain

Topic Sentence Implied Some paragraphs, particularly in narrative and de- scriptive writing, have no topic sentence. Rather, all sentences point toward a main idea that readers must grasp for themselves.

[Captain Robert Barclay] once went out at 5 in the morning to do a little grouse shooting. He walked at least 30 miles while he potted away, and then after dinner set out on a walk of 60 miles that he accomplished in 11 hours without a halt. Barclay did not sleep after this but went through the following day as if nothing had happened until the afternoon, when he walked 16 miles to a ball. He danced all night, and then in early morning walked home and spent a day partridge shooting. Finally, he did get to bed—but only after a period of two nights and nearly three days had elapsed and he had walked 130 miles.

John Lovesey, “A Myth Is As Good As a Mile”

The details in this paragraph collectively suggest a clear central idea: that Barclay had incredible physical endurance. But writing effective paragraphs without topic sentences challenges even the best writers. Therefore, control most of your paragraphs with clearly expressed topic sentences.

EXERCISE Identify the topic sentences in each of the following paragraphs and explain how you arrived at your decisions. If the topic sentence is implied, state the central idea in your own words.

1. Last winter, while leafing through the Guinness Book of World Records, I came across an item stating that the tallest sunflower ever had been grown by G. E. Hocking, an Englishman. Fired by a competitive urge, I planted a half acre of sunflower seeds. That half acre is now a magnificent 22,000 square feet of green and gold flowers. From the elevated rear deck of my apartment, I can look out over the swaying mass of thick, hairy green stalks and see each stalk thrusting up through the darker heart-shaped leaves below and supporting an ever-bobbing imitation of the sun. In this dwarf forest, some of the flower heads measure almost a foot in diameter. Though almost all my plants are now blooming, none will top the sixteen feet, two inches reached by Hocking’s plant. My tallest is just thirteen feet even, but I

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89the topic Sentence

don’t think that’s too bad for the first attempt. Next year, however, will be another matter. I plan to have an automatic watering system to feed my babies.

Joseph Wheeler, student

2. At the most fundamental level, scientific explanation of the world is akin to the process of reading and writing. Whether studying skull structures, geological layers, or bird populations, scientists were deciphering sign systems and interpreting texts. Both the geologist Charles Lyell and the neurobiologist Santiago Ramón y Cajal compared themselves with the linguist Jean François Champollion, who decoded the Egyptian hieroglyphics on the Rosetta stone. Highly conscious of their roles as communicators, scientists did not need critics like Arnold to point out their affinity to ordinary writers. They illustrated it themselves in their own text.

Laura Otis, Literature and Science in the Nineteenth Century

3. The first hostage to be brought off the plane was a dark little man with a bald head and a moustache so thick and black that it obliterated his mouth. Four of the masked terrorists were guarding him closely, each with a heavy rifle held ready for fire. When the group was about fifty feet from the plane, a second hostage, a young woman in flowered slacks and a red blouse, was brought out in clear view by a single terrorist, who held a pistol against the side of her head. Then the first four pushed the dark little man from them and instructed him to kneel on the pavement. They looked at him as they might an insect. But he sat there on his knees, seemingly as indifferent as if he had already taken leave of his body. The shots from the four rifles sounded faintly at the far end of the field where a group of horrified spectators watched the grisly proceedings.

Bradley Willis, student

EXERCISE

1. Develop one of the following ideas into a topic sentence. Then write a unified paragraph that is built around it. a. The career (or job or profession) I want is _______. b. The one quality most necessary in my chosen field is _______. c. The most difficult aspect of my chosen field is _______. d. One good example of the American tendency to waste is _______. e. The best (or worst) thing about fast-food restaurants is _______. f. The college course I find most useful (or interesting) is _______. g. Concentration (or substitute your own term here) is an important part of a

successful golf game (or substitute your own sport) _______. h. The one place where I feel most at home is _______. i. More than anything else, owning a pet (or growing a garden) involves _______.

2. Write a topic sentence that would control a paragraph on each of the following: a. Preparations for traveling away from home b. Advantages of having your own room c. Some landmark of the community in which you live d. The price of long-distance telephone calls e. Registering for college courses f. A cherished memento or souvenir g. High school graduation h. New Year’s resolutions

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Adequate Development Students often ask for guidelines on paragraph length: “Should I aim for fifty to sixty words? Seven to ten sentences? About one-fourth of a page?” The questions are natural, but the approach is wrong. Instead of targeting a particular length, ask yourself what the reader needs to know. Then supply enough information to make your point clearly. Developing a paragraph inadequately is like inviting guests to a party but failing to tell them when and where it will be held. Skimpy paragraphs force readers to fill in the gaps for themselves, a task that can both irritate and stump them. On the other hand, a paragraph stuffed with useless padding dilutes the main idea. In all cases, the reader, the information being presented, and the publication medium determine the proper amount of detail. A newspaper might feature short paragraphs including only key facts, whereas a scientific journal might have lengthy paragraphs that offer detailed develop- ment of facts.

The details you supply can include facts, figures, thoughts, observations, steps, lists, examples, and personal experiences. Individually, these bits of infor- mation may mean little, but together they clearly illustrate your point. Keep in mind, however, that development isn’t an end in itself but instead advances the purpose of the entire essay. Still, less experienced writers often produce under- developed paragraphs. Look for places where you can specifically add a clarify- ing explanation, a detailed example, or a more complete account of an already provided example. You might want to take weak paragraphs and brainstorm for additional details.

Following are two versions of a paragraph, the first inadequately developed:

Underdeveloped Paragraph Most of the delegates to the Constitutional Convention of 1787 feared too much democracy. As a result, they drafted the Constitution as a document outlining a limited democracy. Indeed, some of the provisions were simply undemocratic. But despite reflecting the delegates’ distrust of popular rule, the Constitution did provide a framework in which democracy could evolve.

Adequately Developed Paragraph Most of the delegates to the Constitutional Convention of 1787 feared too much democracy. As a result, they drafted the Constitution as a document outlining a lim- ited democracy. Indeed, some of the provisions were simply undemocratic: universal suffrage was denied; voting qualifications were left to the states; and women, blacks, and persons without property were denied the federal franchise. Until the passage of the Seventeenth Amendment in 1913, senators were not popularly elected but were chosen by state legislators. But despite reflecting the delegates’ distrust of popular rule, the Constitution did provide a framework in which democracy could evolve.

5.3 Write paragraphs that are well developed.

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91Adequate Development

The first paragraph lacks examples of undemocratic provisions, whereas the second one provides the needed information.

Readability also helps set paragraph length. Within a paper, paragraphs signal natural dividing places, allowing the reader to pause and absorb the material presented up to that point. Too little paragraphing overwhelms the reader with long blocks of material. Too much creates a choppy effect that may seem simplistic, even irritating. To counter these problems, writers sometimes use several paragraphs for an idea that needs extended development, or they combine several short paragraphs into one.

EXERCISE

1. Indicate where the ideas in this long block of material divide logically; explain your choices.

During the summer following graduation from high school, I could hardly wait to get to college and “be on my own.” In my first weeks at State University, how- ever, I found that independence can be tough and painful. I had expected raucous good times and a carefree collegiate life, the sort depicted in old beach movies and suggested by the selective memories of sentimental alumni. Instead, all I felt at first was the burden of increasing responsibilities and the loneliness of “a man without a country.” I discovered that being independent of parents who kept at me to do my homework and expected me to accomplish certain household chores did not mean I was free to do as I pleased. On the contrary, living on my own meant that I had to perform for myself all the tasks that the family used to share. Studying became a full-time occupation rather than a nightly duty to be accomplished in an hour or two, and my college instructors made it clear that they would have little sympathy for negligence or even for my inability to do an assignment. But what was more troubling about my early college life than having to do laundry, prepare meals, and complete stacks of homework was the terrifying sense of being entirely alone. I was independent, no longer a part of the world that had seemed to confine me, but I soon realized that confinement had also meant security. I never liked the feeling that people were watching over me, but I knew that my family and friends were also watching out for me—and that’s a good feeling to have. At the university no one seemed particularly to be watching, though professors constantly evaluated the quality of my work. I felt estranged from people in those first weeks of college life, desperately needing a confidant but fearful that the new and tenuous friendships I had made would be damaged if I were to confess my fears and problems. It was simply too early for me to feel a part of the university. So there I was, independent in the fullest sense, and thus “a man without a country.”

2. The following short, choppy units are inadequately developed. List some details you could use to expand one of them into a good paragraph.

I like living in a small town because the people are so friendly. In addition, I can always get the latest gossip from the local busybody.

In a big city, people are afraid to get too friendly. Everything is very private, and nobody knows anything about anybody else.

3. Scan the compositions you have written in other classes for paragraphs that are over- or underdeveloped. Revise any you find.

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92 ChApter 5 paragraphs

Organization An effective paragraph unfolds in a clear pattern of organization so that the reader can easily follow the flow of ideas. Usually when you write your first draft, your attempt to organize your thoughts will also organize your paragraphs. Writers do not ordinarily stop to decide on a strategy for each paragraph. But when you revise or are stuck, it’s useful to understand the available choices. Here are some options:

1. The strategies discussed in Chapters 8–16 2. Order of climax

The choice you make depends upon your material and purpose in writing.

Writing Strategies These include all of the following patterns:

5.4 Use a variety of para- graph organizational patterns.

■■ Time sequence (narration) ■■ Space sequence (description) ■■ Process analysis ■■ Illustration ■■ Classification

■■ Comparison ■■ Cause and effect ■■ Definition ■■ Argument

Four example paragraphs follow. The first, organized by time sequence, traces the sequence of a horrifying failed rescue attempt at sea.

I once read a story about a sailor who was washed overboard while rounding the Horn on a clipper ship. His shipmates immediately lowered a boat, and a few of them rowed to the rescue while the remainder of the crew dropped sail and brought the ship into the wind. The boat crew plucked the hapless sailor out of the sea, but the small boat broached on a steep breaking wave and capsized. As the men clung to the upturned keel, a flock of albatrosses circled overhead. The lookout on the main ship watched with horror as one of the birds dove, landed on a man’s head, and plucked out his eyes. Then a second bird dove, and a third. Another res- cue boat was dispatched, but the lines became tangled in the davits as the mother ship drifted downwind. The lost time was fatal. Blinded and bloody, the men in the water untied their life vests and one by one dove to their deaths rather than face the continued assaults.

Jon Turk, Cold Oceans: Adventures in Kayaks, Rowboat, and Dogsled

The next paragraph, organized by space sequence, describes a ceramic elf, starting from the bottom and working up to the top. Other common spatial ar- rangements include top to bottom, left to right, right to left, nearby to far away, far away to nearby, clockwise, and counterclockwise.

The ceramic elf in our family room is quite a character. His reddish-brown slippers, which hang over the mantel shelf, taper to a slender point. Pudgy, yellow- stockinged legs disappear into a wrinkled tunic-style, olive-green jacket, gathered at the waist with a thick, brown belt that fits snugly around his roly-poly belly. His

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93Organization

short, meaty arms hang comfortably, one hand resting on the knapsack at his side and the other clutching the bowl of an old black pipe. An unkempt, snow-white beard, dotted by occasional snarls, trails patriarch-fashion from his lower lip to his belt line. A button nose capped with a smudge of gold dust, mischievous black eyes, and an unruly snatch of hair peeking out from under his burnt-orange stocking cap complete Bartholomew’s appearance.

Maria Sanchez, student

Although descriptive paragraphs, like those developed by narration, often lack topic sentences, our example leads off with the central idea.

Here is a paragraph showing process development.

Making beer nuts is a quick, simple procedure that provides a delicious evening snack. You’ll need six cups of raw peanuts, three cups of sugar, and one-and-one-half cups of water. To begin, combine the sugar and water in a two-quart saucepan and stir to dissolve the sugar. Next, add the peanuts and stir again until all of the peanuts are covered by the sugar-water solution. Leave the pan, uncovered, on a burner set at medium-high heat for ten to twelve minutes, until the sugar crystallizes and coats the peanuts thoroughly. Stay at the stove during the heating process and stir the mixture every two or three minutes to ensure even coating of the nuts. When the peanuts are thoroughly coated, pour them onto an ungreased cookie sheet and bake at 350 degrees for about thirty minutes, stirring and lightly salting at ten-minute intervals. Serve your beer nuts fresh out of the oven or eat them at room temperature.

Kimberlee Walters, student

Again, the topic sentence comes first. The final example illustrates development by comparison and also proceeds from an opening topic sentence.

Taken together, we found that both intoxicated drivers and cell phone driv- ers performed differently from baseline and that the driving profiles of these two conditions differed. Drivers using a cell phone exhibited a delay in their response to events in the driving scenario and were more likely to be involved in a traffic acci- dent. Drivers in the alcohol condition exhibited a more aggressive driving style, fol- lowing closer to the vehicle immediately in front of them, necessitating braking with greater force. With respect to traffic safety, the data suggest that the impairments associated with cell phone drivers may be as great as those commonly observed with intoxicated drivers.

David L. Strayer, Frank A. Drews, and Dennis J. Crouch, A Comparison of the Cell Phone Driver and the Drunk Driver

Order of Climax Climactic order creates a crescendo pattern, starting with the least emphatic detail and progressing to the most emphatic. The topic sen- tence can begin or end the paragraph, or it can remain implied. This pattern holds the reader’s interest by building suspense. On occasion, writers reverse the order, landing the heaviest punch first; but such paragraphs can trail off, leaving the reader dissatisfied.

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94 ChApter 5 paragraphs

Here is a paragraph illustrating climactic order

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