Reword each of the corrupted messages below using whole messages to replace the original statement. (You’ll make up a scenario for each of the quotes below and express a “whole message”).

• Reword each of the corrupted messages below using whole messages to replace the original statement. (You’ll make up a scenario for each of the quotes below and express a “whole message”).
• Just as a reminder, use all four elements of the whole statement:
  • Describe the other person’s behavior (your observation of what they objectively did or said)
  • Express your feelings (make sure they’re actual feelings and not thoughts…for example feeling like someone isn’t listening to you is not a feeling, but feeling sad is). AND, remember to own your feelings (e.g., “I am upset” versus “you make me upset” or “I am angry” versus “it makes me angry.”)
  • Give your interpretation of the other person’s behavior (thoughts).
  • Express your need(s)/want(s).

Revision:

• Observation: The past three times I’ve asked you to go to dinner, you have said you can’t go.
• Feeling: I’m bummed because….
• Thought: I’m wondering if you’re really that busy or if you just don’t want to hang out.
• Need: Can we please talk about this?

1. “You never want to hear my side of the story”

• Observation
• Feeling
• Thought
• Need

1. “You need to be more responsible”

• Observation
• Feeling
• Thought
• Need

1. “You’re a total control freak!”

• Observation
• Feeling
• Thought
• Need

1. “You’re oversensitive.”

• Observation
• Feeling
• Thought
• Need

1. “You never listen to me.”

• Observation
• Feeling
• Thought
• Need

1. “You need to give me a little space.”

• Observation
• Feeling
• Thought
• Need