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Hi!  I’m Kir and the characteristics that I use to describe myself are loyal, funny, critical, determined, stoic, empathetic, courageous, flexible, slightly ambitious, stubborn, and helpful.

I am shaped by the people, circumstances and experiences in my life.  Each role that I have played (daughter, sister, employee, wife, mother, manager, volunteer), every lesson I’ve learned, and each decision that I have made both big and small has left its mark on me and propelled my personal evolution forward. The person I was at 22 is different from who I was at 32 and different again from who I am today. I like to think that I keep becoming a better version of myself but that could be just another self-illusion.  

The positive self-illusion I use the most is the downward social comparison to make myself feel better. I am very self-aware and self-critical and I’m constantly shifting my perspective to focus on more the positive aspects of my life to avoid ruminating on negative thoughts (Safdar & Sanderson, 2021, p. 46).  By making the downward social comparisons I can adjust how I perceive my own characteristics and experiences and while it might not be the best strategy, it has helped me improve my mental state when I’m really feeling low (Makridakis, S., & Moleskis, A. (2015).

My family culture has played the biggest role in how I define myself and make decisions.  The values that I have been surrounded by have helped shaped me and continue to influence the choices I make and how I move forward in life.   My family is at the centre of my world and the shared values guide how I live.  There is a huge emphasis on hard work, loyalty, ethics, compassion and helpfulness that runs deep in my family and these values have shaped who I am, the goals that I set and how I make decisions.  Sometimes, I feel the ingrained cultural pressure is heavy and it holds me back because I have to uphold these high value traits even when they might not be in my best interests but are in the interest of ‘the greater good’.