Improved Networking Competencies means as employee, you can

Improved Networking Competencies means as employee, you can: • Gain access to private information found nowhere else; • Tap into the diverse skill- sets you need to get the job done; • Have the power and influence of a “go-to” person. Strategic Networking/ Assignment (10p) Design your Smart Networking Competencies’ Development PLAN! Steps to follow: a) Start by self-rating (on a scale from 1-10) each of the 7 main SN competencies, associated with a successful networker (self knowledge; self-trust; positive attitude; curiosity; empathy; generosity; politeness & courtesy); based on previous exercises you should have a good knowledge of yourself to guide! b) Pick out of the 7, 3 lowest scored personal networking competences; c) “Build” a personalized PLAN, tailored to your individual needs, to improve each of the targeted competencies. Provide a short example of a positive outcome (considering the coming week). Please: – Carefully review the course content! – Consider all available methods including formal training, on the job development, job simulations, observation, feed-back from your peers, informal coaching, reading, and audio visual references! List them at the end of your homework Word file. Design your Smart Networking Competencies’ Development PLAN! Nr. Competence Activities performed (to be improved) 1. Curiosity • Time frame Initiate a conversation … 24-30 even with unknown Positive outcome Improved relationship with • people; martie Listen carefully and show real interest; my parents (example described below!) …. Examples: Demonstrate your curiosity / interest to the interlocutor: • • • • Initiate a conversation … even with unknown people; Ask questions and find topics to branch off; Listen carefully and show real interest; Replace fear with … curiosity; the energy associated with fear is extremely powerful, but can be converted into energy of creative curiosity. To increase your empathy level: • • • • • • • • • • Be aware that empathy is a double-minded process: Understand correctly your interlocutor’s motivations, needs, interests to identify mutually beneficial solutions, and develop/ strengthen a direct, open and profound interpersonal relationship; Practice interactive listening; Accept another person’s feelings and fight against your own stereotypes and prejudices; Honestly share your own feelings, experiences etc.; Ask open questions, using your imagination; Avoid evaluative formulations (“not good …”, “you are about / too …” etc.), which usually generates defensive behavior; Don’t advice the interlocutor how to be/ react (“Don’t be sad / worried / angry, etc.”); you do not have to solve the problem, just to validate her feelings); Offer your help by showing that you are willing to take concrete action. Generosity • • • • • • Be generous with yourself and those around you; Be the first to offer … a good word, a compliment, an encouragement, a recommendation, a praise, time of your time, a coffee, a lunch etc.; Express the availability through verbal and non-verbal messages; Help when you can, without waiting for similar help in return; Give others the chance to help you; give them the opportunity to feel useful; Get involved in random acts of goodwill. Politeness and courtesy o • • Demonstrates constant respect for the person you are dealing with; Simple courtesy acts also encourage the politeness of the interlocutor (“people will remember less what you have told them … than how did you make them feel! “)! Do not hesitate to use simple words such as: “please,” “thank you”, “I apologize,” “I’m sorry,” “you are kind enough to …” “you bother if …”, “I am glad to meet you” for … “etc. Adapt the level and means of expressing politeness (behavior, gestures, manners, words, etc.) to context and familiarity with the interlocutor; politeness in excess and/ or in inappropriate situations can become counterproductive; Avoid giving a direct, intense control over someone else; offer autonomy, confidence; be aware of prejudices (often based on age, gender, profession, outward appearance, etc.) and try to see each person’s unique history, his/ her needs and different dreams, but with which you can find common points; avoids destructive criticism, even in relationships with the small ones, or with subordinates. Common Features of professional networkers: • 2.1. Good self-knowledge… • 2.2. Self-Trust • 2.3. Positive attitude • 2.4. Curiosity • 2.5. Empathy • 2.6. Generosity • 2.7. Politeness and courtesy 2.1. Self-Knowledge/ a. Schwartz Basic Values Theory Rate yourself (on a scale from 1-10) against Schwartz’s 10 basic values! Use the “360°” rating. Ask the people you interact with (relatives, friends, colleagues, etc.) how they perceive you and compare their image of you with yours to get closer to the reality… (maybe you are not as generous as you think, or .. so open …). b) Personal SWOT Analysis Personal SWOT Analysis/ Example Strengths: – Perseverant; – Ambitious; – Multi-interested (business, automotive, Weaknesses: – Strong need to “get things done and off my list” as a result of doing it immediately, thereby undermining the advantages of more careful etc.); – Strong follow-through; – Optimistic. deliberation over time; – Sometimes I may become impatient, for instance when I need to wait for something; – Time pressure causes me stress most of the time; – Sometimes I cannot handle multiple competing requirements well. Opportunities: – To involve others in giving feedback on their Threats: – experience with me; – Learning from others in similar positions to mine; – To improve my ability to quickly handle the need to complete tasks in order to be able to deliberate more carefully. Time pressure that may derail my selfimprovement plan; – The multitude of daily requirements that conspire against self-reflection. https://www.mentalhelp.net/self-esteem/changing-negative-thoughts/ Building Self-Esteem by Changing Negative Thoughts (Erin L. George) Negative thoughts are automatic, self-critical beliefs or assumptions about yourself that arise in response to specific triggers or situations. These thoughts often reflect a distorted perception of reality and can significantly impair your emotional and mental well-being. Immediate psychological impacts include feelings of inadequacy, anxiety, depression, and a pervasive sense of dissatisfaction with your life. It’s a common experience shared by many; these thoughts can subtly infiltrate our daily lives, affecting our decisions, actions, and overall sense of self-esteem. Negative thoughts will fester and stop you going for promotions, jobs, friendships, relationships, adventures, and opportunities. They can stunt personal growth, cause us to make bad decisions, and drive us to become the worst versions of ourselves. They can warp our perception of experiences and even cause us physical and mental damage, feeding mood and anxiety disorders. We all encounter negative self-talk at some point, with phrases like “I can’t do anything right” or “I’m not good enough” frequently playing in the back of our minds. Recognizing the universality of these experiences is the first step toward developing a healthier, more compassionate relationship with ourselves. There is a road from self-criticism to selfacceptance, offering strategies to transform negative thought patterns into affirmations of self-worth and resilience. Identifying Negative Thoughts You may be giving yourself negative messages about yourself. Many people do. Sometimes, these are messages that you learned when you were young. You learned from many different sources, including other children, your teachers, family members, caregivers, and the media, as well as prejudice and stigma in our society. Once you have learned them, you may have repeated these negative messages over and over to yourself, especially when you were not feeling well or when you were having a hard time. You may have come to believe them. You may have even worsened the problem by making up some negative messages or thoughts of your own. These negative thoughts or messages make you feel bad about yourself and lower your self-esteem. Forms negative thoughts can take: polarized thinking; overgeneralization (always; never etc.); mental filtering; discounting the positive; mindreading (anticipating what other think about me in a negative manner/ “Now, they all hate me for saying that! …”); catastrophizing (“I’m going to lose all my other clients!); emotional reasoning (“I’d never get the job anyway”); “should” statements (“I should be getting up early to start every morning with yoga”); labeling; It can be particularly hard to break habits around negative self-talk if those messages were adopted during a time of growth or struggle. Maybe you were bullied as a teen and hadn’t formed a clear sense of self when you took these messages on. Perhaps you’d just experienced failure or loss at a time when you felt helpless and now tell yourself you’re useless and aren’t even sure why. This isn’t uncommon but can be corrected. Some examples of common negative messages that people repeat over and over to themselves include: “I am a jerk,” “I am a loser,” “I never do anything right,” “No one would ever like me,” and “I am a klutz.” Most people believe these messages, no matter how untrue or unreal they are. They come up immediately in the right circumstance—for instance, if you get a wrong answer, you think, “I am so stupid.” They may include words like should, ought, or must. The messages tend to be the worst in everything, especially you, and they are hard to turn off or unlearn. You may think these thoughts or give yourself these negative messages so often that you are hardly aware of them. Pay attention to them. Carry a small pad with you as you go about your daily routine for several days, and jot down negative thoughts about yourself whenever you notice them. Some people say they notice more negative thinking when they are tired, sick, or dealing with a lot of stress. As you become aware of your negative thoughts, you may notice more of them. It helps to take a closer look at your negative thought patterns to check whether or not they are true. You may want a close friend or counselor to help you with this. When you are in a good mood and when you have a positive attitude about yourself, ask yourself the following questions about each negative thought you have noticed: • • • Is this message really true? Would a person say this to another person? If not, why am I saying it to myself? What do I get out of thinking this thought? If it makes me feel bad about myself, why not stop thinking about it? You could also ask someone else, someone who likes you and who you trust, if you should believe this thought about yourself. Often, just looking at a thought or situation in a new light helps. It can also be helpful to try to look at yourself from someone who knows you well and who you trust’s point of view. It’s also helpful for people to think about how they would feel if their partner or friend were talking about themselves in that way and whether they would agree. By shifting the focus externally instead of inward, it can be easy to understand how negative self-talk is usually too harsh and even untrue. Countering Negative Thoughts with Positive Thoughts The next step in this process is to develop positive statements you can say to yourself to replace these negative thoughts whenever you notice yourself thinking them. You can’t think two thoughts at the same time. When you are thinking a positive thought about yourself, you can’t be thinking a negative one. In developing these thoughts, use positive words like happy, peaceful, loving, enthusiastic, and warm. Avoid using negative words such as worried, frightened, upset, tired, bored, not, never, or can’t. Don’t make a statement like, “I am not going to worry anymore.” Instead, say, “I focus on the positive,” or whatever feels right to you. Substitute “it would be nice if” for “should.” Always use the present tense, e.g., “I am healthy, I am well, I am happy, and I have a good job,” as if the condition already exists. Use I, me, or your own name. You can do this by folding a piece of paper in half the long way to make two columns. In one column, write your negative thought, and in the other column, write a positive thought that contradicts the negative thought. Due to NEUROPLASTICITY of the brain, negative thinking patterns become physical neuro-traits in your brain, that can be replaced. You can work on changing your negative thoughts to positive ones by: • • • • Replacing the negative thought with the positive one every time you realize you are thinking the negative thought (“this is impossible/ let’s try a different approach” Repeating your positive thoughts over and over to yourself out loud whenever you get a chance and even sharing them with another person if possible Writing them over and over Making signs that say the positive thought, hanging them in places where you would see them often—like on your refrigerator door or the mirror in your bathroom—and repeating the thought to yourself several times when you see it. • Negative Thought Positive Thought I am not worth anything. I am a valuable person. I have never accomplished anything. I have accomplished many things. I always make mistakes. I do many things well. I am a jerk. I am a great person. I don’t deserve a good life. I deserve to be happy and healthy. I am stupid. I am smart. It helps to reinforce the positive thought if you repeat it over and over to yourself when you are deeply relaxed, such as when you are doing a deep breathing or relaxation exercise or when you are just falling asleep or waking up. Changing the negative thoughts you have about yourself to positive ones takes time and persistence. If you use the following techniques consistently for four to six weeks, you will notice that you don’t think these negative thoughts about yourself as much. If they recur at some other time, you can repeat these activities. Don’t give up. You deserve to think good thoughts about yourself.

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