TECHNIQUES TEMPLATE TECHNIQUE OR INTERVENTION: THEORY OF WHY IT WORKS? BARRIERS TO SUCCESS (WHAT COULD PREVENT SUCCESS)? SPECIFIC MECHANISM (The HOW?) OF CHANGE GOALS/OUT

"Skills for Addressing Gender Issues”

Every helper needs to have the skills of the reflective practitioner that we talked about in Chapter 1. If you recall from that discussion, using your skills as a reflective practitioner is important when differences between helper and client produce misunderstandings. Reflection is the process of identifying a puzzling issue and looking at it from different angles. How can we use reflection to help deal with gender issues? Assumptions about gender are so deeply ingrained that it is difficult to get free of them. Have you thought about how you will react to a transgender, gay, or lesbian client? Using a journal, participating in group discussions, and consulting a supervisor are all reflective ways of getting to a point of view that is broader than your own. In addition to reflection, here are some general strategies and skills that helpers can develop to avoid gender becoming a wall between them and their clients:

Address gender in the assessment process. Understand the importance the client places on gender identity. Be familiar with the terms that gender minority clients use to describe their gender identity and sexual orientation.

Be willing to discuss gender issues that surface in client/helper interactions and misunderstandings. Utilize supervision to discover your attitudes about a client that may be the result of your own gender socialization.

Be particularly aware of how gender affects attitudes about family roles and family violence (Anderson, 1997; Nayak, Byrne, Martin, & Abraham, 2003). Gender bias in career expectations is a major issue that can potentially stunt an individual’s development (Kerka, 1999).

Just as cultural groups tend to stereotype outsiders, the same generalizations arise when we talk about differences between men and women and sexual and gender minorities. These stereotypes can affect how we diagnose a person and how much weight we give symptoms (Lopez, Grover, Holland, & Johnson, 1989). Recognize that clinicians may hold gender stereotypes about what defines a mentally healthy man and a mentally healthy woman (Gold & Hawley, 2001). We may automatically pathologize a man who cries at work and a woman who is a strong leader.

Most of the male/female contrasts we are faced with are those of perception rather than real divisions in behavior. For example, there appears to be no plausible evidence of variability in how men and women express and react to emotions (Wester, Vogel, & Pressly, 2002). Despite this, it is a common belief that women are more emotional and men less so. Popular books such as Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus (Gray, 1992) may reinforce these stereotypes. Again, the lesson is to understand your client as a unique individual shaped by cultural forces."

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"Nonverbal Communication Between Helper and Client

Nonverbal communication is also called body language. We generally talk about seven nonverbal ways that we speak to others without words: eye contact, body position, silence, voice tone, facial expressions and gestures, physical distance, and touching (Finset & Del Piccolo, 2011; Gladstein, 1974). Mehrabian (1972) said that as much as 80% of communication takes place on the nonverbal level. It has been estimated that only 7% of emotions are conveyed by verbal means, whereas 38% are conveyed by the voice and 55% by the face. These percentages vary considerably in different contexts, but Argyle and colleagues (1971) concluded that nonverbal messages were taken to be 12.5 times stronger than verbal messages when conveying friendliness or hostility.

Nonverbal messages can be compared to the musical score in a movie. They can affect us tremendously, but we may not notice their presence. For example, researchers studying couples communication were at first confused when they examined written transcripts of troubled marriages. Everything appeared normal. It was not until they watched the videos that they were able to see the subtle nonverbal signals of contempt such as rolling of the eyes. Even very minor movements and expressions can set off an argument. For example, a raised eyebrow takes only a sixth of a second, but it can be detected at distances of over 150 feet (Blum, 1998). When strong emotions are being expressed, nonverbal messages may be more significant than what the person is saying (Aviezer, Trope, & Todorov, 2012; Fiquer et al., 2018). This is probably why when we send text messages, we feel the need for emojis. The text does not fully convey how we are feeling, and misunderstandings can ensue.

Besides conveying information and emotions, nonverbal behavior has three other functions in human interaction. Nonverbal signals regulate the interaction (indicating pauses and stopping points), can enhance intimacy, and can be persuasive (cf. Argyle, 1987). Let us look at each of these functions.

Regulation

Occasionally, we are required to interact with others without having access to all the nonverbal cues that the person is sending. Have you ever participated in a conference call on the telephone? In face-to-face conversations, cues about when to speak and when to listen are communicated nonverbally. Without access to these regulators, everyone talks at once or there are long periods of silence.

Intimacy

For example, we might prefer e-mail from family members if we are merely exchanging information, but when we want to hear their voices to feel close to them, we use FaceTime or Skype to get access to their nonverbal messages. Think about the difference between sending a sympathy card and placing your arm around the shoulder of a grieving friend. To increase intimacy, we increase proximity and use touch.

Persuasion

Nonverbal communication is also a powerful component of persuasion. The gestures and voice tone of famous orators such as Martin Luther King Jr. are evidence of this. The most persuasive communication takes place when we can see another person’s face and when we are in the same room. It is much easier to say no to the salesperson on the phone than to the one who is standing right in front of you. The art of helping also relies on persuasive nonverbal messages to encourage the client to open up. Helpers use specific nonverbal behaviors and project warmth to persuade their clients that they are listening nonjudgmentally and that the client is in a safe environment. Your willingness to take the time to provide the most inviting nonverbal atmosphere will affect your client’s perception of you and willingness to open up."

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Chapter 5 Reasons for Reflecting

In general, reflecting entails repeating back to the client his or her own thoughts and feelings and implied meanings in a condensed way, using different words and in a manner that communicates nonevaluative, nonjudgmental understanding.

Four functions are served by reflecting skills in helping:

Reflecting is a verbal way of communicating empathy: In Chapter 2, we discussed the concept of empathy, or trying to “feel oneself into” another’s experience. Reflecting shows the client that the helper understands what the client is going through.

Reflecting is a form of feedback or a mirror that enables the client to confirm or correct the impression they are giving: Frequently, the client does not agree with the helper’s reflections, but a reflecting statement, even if it is inaccurate, can give the client an opportunity to clarify the experience to others and to oneself (Hill, 2020). In other words, beginning helpers should try to reflect without being concerned that every reflection is perfect or that the client endorses it. If the helper does not hit the bull’s-eye, in many cases the client will expand on the situation and explain it more clearly.

Reflecting stimulates further exploration of what the client is experiencing: Accurate reflection has an “opening effect,” bringing out more facts and deeper feelings. Reflecting can be compared to the soliloquy in a Shakespearean play where the main character turns to the audience and expresses what is going on inside in the character’s thoughts. Because clients do not always express or even recognize these deeper thoughts and feelings, the helper primes the pump with reflections.

Reflecting captures important aspects of the client’s message that otherwise might remain camouflaged: Many people have difficulty admitting to negative feelings such as fear and anger or ungenerous thoughts about others. When the helper reflects these in a nonjudgmental way, the client may suddenly recognize that the helper is correct. The helper’s words resonate with the client’s unspoken and perhaps unrecognized experience."

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