Major suggestion is to extend some of the images here – one or two – just to give the poem a little more meat”.
I am writing a Final Portfolio for my creative writing course. He gave me feedback on this poem, saying his “major suggestion is to extend some of the images here – one or two – just to give the poem a little more meat”. I wondered if anyone had ideas or how you would do it. I included the reference photo on which the poem is based and the poem below. Please let me know if you have any questions, thank you.
. ..
Chicago Skyline
The city skyline
stretches out before me
a concrete jungle
of glass and steel a nice metaphor
The buildings
towers of industry
reach for the sky
in a silent competition
The sun
a fiery ball of orange
sinks behind the horizon
casting the city in shadow
The streets
a river of light
flowing through the darkness
a pulse of life
The cityscape
a thing of beauty
in the night
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