Improve cover letters

Note :

I want to improve cover letters. Can someone help me out by improving that my instructor wanted?

Below are the comments and rubic criteria that are needed to improve my application package:

You can improve your package by proofreading to eliminate style and mechanics issues (You offer to employ the recipient? You have several typographical errors.)

Criteria of Style & mech: Apllicant apllies style principles to write clearly and eliminate ambiguity and rebundancy.

Here is the cover letter. improve and give suggestion on this 4 paragraphs only by following above criteria 

Cover letter:

Dear Ms. Walsh,

I am writing to seek the chance to employ you as an intern for the summer internship program remotely. Your mission matches my desire to protect people, and I am fascinated by Proofpoint’s range of services and track record of success. I was encouraged to approach you after seeing that Proofpoint is looking for a new Cybersecurity Analyst (R8357).

I am pursuing a Bachelor of Science in Computer Science at the University of Texas at Dallas, which has helped me understand operating systems, data structures, algorithms, and computer architecture thoroughly. I have worked at Ram security’s information technology help desk for half a year. I frequently help faculty and staff with computer-related concerns like computer setup, transferring data files, and standard technical issues.

I know you are searching for someone who can adapt to a cross-disciplinary work environment and is highly motivated, team-oriented, and knowledgeable about analysts. I believe that my experience in academics and extracurricular activities has prepared me for this.

Although the enclosed resume gives a solid overview of my history and skills, I am willing to set up a meeting with you to talk more about this position and how I would be a good fit. I am sure that I can be the Cybersecurity Analyst you are looking for. Thank you for your time.  

Thank you