The weakest or least successful parts of the poems
Responses must be 250 – 300 words in length.
In your responses, you should address the following questions:
What do you like most about the draft? What has the writer done well?
What do you think are the weakest or least successful parts of the poems? Why? Write specific suggestions to improve these issues.
Prouse Poem
Comeback Kid
The environment is dark and defeating, my arms, legs and breath are dead. I sit in my corner looking up, and as much as my coach talks, I can’t stop looking at the stage lights above me. I hear ten seconds, I snap back into reality. Instantly I see my enemy directly into his eyes, he is physically more talented but cocky in mind. My heart was filled with rage, as the crowd cheered for my enemy, thinking his victory was destined to happen. The bell rings for the last round, the vibrations of the bell overcomes the sound of the crowd. I can barely stand against the gravity of the arena, I walk towards my chance. My enemy pays attention to the crowd, having back towards me. I’m filled with excitement as I twist my hips, lead my right hand back, and plant my foot deep into the ground. My enemy finally turns to me, his smile turns into disformed pattern of lips and cheeks. I feel the world is in slow motion as my enemy falls slowly, hitting the canvas and all I feel is a thump on the ground. The crowd goes quiet and I feel nothing but emptiness, as I’m the only person in the arena.
Villanelle Poem
Reality or Fiction
Reality or fiction, which is true?
These concepts keep me confused.
I pinch myself to know the truth.
I believe my life is a lie .
My knowledge is not thought through.
Reality or fiction, which is true?
I fear for myself, my mind is shy.
My life seen through a booth.
I pinch myself to know the truth.
I run in walls, I jump to fly.
I land on my feet, I’m standing still.
Reality or fiction, which is true?
I lay on my back, with a big sigh.
Eyes shining at far away stars.
I pinch myself to know the truth.
I close my eyes and hope to die.
Praying that I know one day.
Reality or fiction, which is true?
I pinch myself to know the truth.
Haiku
Canvas
The canvas I own
Pretty but nothing on it
No need to ruin it
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