Interpersonal Communication

Subject: Interpersonal Communication

Objectives:

Analyze the difference between Nonassertive, Assertive and Aggressive conflict strategies.

Apply the DESC framework for learning assertiveness.

Directions: Please fill out the following assertiveness inventory.  By using the following code, indicate how characteristic or descriptive of you each of the following statements is:

+3 Very Characteristic

+2 Rather Characteristic

+1 Somewhat Characteristic

-1 Somewhat Uncharacteristic

-2 Rather Uncharacteristic

-3 Very Uncharacteristic

I seem to be more aggressive and assertive than most people.

I never hesitate to make or accept dates because of shyness.

When the food served at a restaurant is not done to my satisfaction, I complain about it to the food server.

I am not careful to avoid hurting other people’s feelings when I feel that I have been injured.

If a salesperson has gone to considerable trouble to show me merchandise that is not quite suitable, I have no difficulty saying no.

When I am asked to do something I insist one knowing why.

There are times when I look for a good, vigorous argument.

I strive to get ahead as well as most people in my position.

People seldom take advantage of me.

I enjoy starting conversations with new acquaintances and strangers.

I have no trouble talking to attractive persons.

I do not hesitate to make phone calls to business establishments and institutions.

I would rather apply for a job or for admission to a college by going through personal interviews than by writing letters.

I am comfortable in returning merchandise.

If a close and respected relative were annoying me, I would express my annoyance rather than hide my feelings.

I do not avoid asking questions even if I may sound stupid.

In an argument I do not fear getting upset.

If a famed and respected lecturer makes a statement that I think is incorrect, I will have the audience hear my point of view as well.

I find it easy to tell people how I feel about them.

I am willing to argue over prices with salespeople.

I often tell close friends how much they mean to me.

When I have done something important or worthwhile, I manage to let others know about it.

I would rather make a scene than hold in my emotions.

I enjoy giving and receiving compliments.

If I hear that a person has been spreading untrue information about me, I confront that person and have a talk about it.

Add up the total number. 

Score:

-75 to 0= Passive (Nonassertive)

0 to +75 = Assertive Category

Post your score.  Was your score consistent with the way you view your own behavior?  Choose a statement above and evaluate it.  Is it likely to evoke the desired response or action?  (consider norms, if it is ethical etc)

Are there certain situations that call for a passive/nonassertive, assertive or aggressive approach?

Read the scenario below.  Follow the steps in the Assertiveness (DESC) Framework.  Write out what you would say for each step. 

Scenario:  The newest release of your mobile phone has just come out.  The phone is in limited supply. Due to the pandemic and the rush on the phone you have spent several hours outside in line in less than perfect weather conditions.  Suddenly four “friends” arrive and join the person in front of you. 

DESC framework for learning assertiveness. 

Describe–the behavior that is troublesome ______________________________________________________________

Express–emotions regarding the offense ________________________________________________________________

Specify–the new behavior you expect ___________________________________________________________________

Consequences–of changing or choosing not to ___________________________________________________________