There once was a girl who never thought she could succeed, but she had the courage and faith.
Please help:
Vary syntax – (esp how sentences start.) – Vary sentence length. – Break up long sentences/run-ons. – Add fragments. – More descriptive language. AND imagery. – Break into multiple paragraphs. while still being four hundred at minimum
There once was a girl who never thought she could succeed, but she had the courage and faith. Therefore, she believed, she was determined to pass the class but it wasn’t like anyone could have helped her, with a drunken father and a mom who is always at work, many siblings but none took her on, she’s fallen into a hole, a hole she thought she couldn’t get out of, a place she thought she would stay forever, everyone looked down on her including her family and teachers they couldn’t ever understand what a struggle it was for her to not be able to understand. As she got older, the hole got deeper her father ended up abusing and molesting her, she still struggled to even pass a test, she cried to God, and with he she felt as though she could do it she just had to try harder and harder, but still, she would hurt herself wondering why is nothing I do working. One day, even her mother said she would be nothing if this kept happening, but no matter what she said she never understood it, it wasn’t as though she wanted to fail she just wanted her mom to finally say “I AM PROUD OF YOU” and succeed. As time went on, she met a boy, a boy she met during a stage of rebellion, where she was finally doing better in school and it was as though no one recognized how far she had come and she wanted to be loved and the boy she met loved her they were together for five5 years and even though that was the most love she ever felt in her whole life of living they had broken up. He had cheated on her with a school prostitute and the whole school knew that day and, it was all because she said one word which was no. Time passed and things had gotten better but in her heart, she still loved him though. Wouldn’t you? A guy who gives you all your desires and showers you with affection and attention and that is what she needed someone to make her feel good about herself. She later learned self-love but before that stage, she was insecure about her body, her face, and more, she felt as though she could always ‘LOOK BETTER” although it wasn’t because of social media during such a stage she had ended up ….
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