The measure below is the Experiences in Close Relationships Scale (Fraley et al., 2000). It assesses how adults typically feel in close relationships (such as close friendships, romantic partnerships).
The measure below is the Experiences in Close Relationships Scale (Fraley et al., 2000). It assesses how adults typically feel in close relationships (such as close friendships, romantic partnerships).
What does this have to do with parent-infant attachment? A lot actually. The idea with attachment theory is that our internal working models (i.e., how we think about our selves and others) is formed during infancy and toddlerhood, with lifelong implications for all relationships in our lives. This measure attempts to tap into that internal working model.
The blue items tap into anxious attachment traits. The green items tap into avoidant attachment traits. Review these concepts in our notes and in Gross (2019). The higher the scores, the greater indication of each trait. The lower the scores, the less indicate of these traits (and more evidence of secure attachment experiences).
The goal of this assignment is to read these items carefully and consider how these anxious and avoidant traits we see in adults are rooted in parent-infant relationships. You have options – you can actually score yourself on the measure (instructions below) for super deep dive. Or, you can read and reflect on the items while thinking about your own experiences, but not actually score them. OR, you can keep things focused outside yourself and analyze these topics without making connections to your personal experiences (sometimes we do not have the space in our lives to get deep into our past family experiences at some random point in the semester and that’s fine!).
*Warning: if you take this for your own curiosity, there is no score or set point that signals anything is “wrong”. This does not diagnose you with anything. It is simply a window into past experiences that might be interesting to reflect on. If this brings up anything you need to discuss with someone, you should contact The Downing Counseling Clinic (in WRB run by the counseling graduate students).
No matter what you choose (or how personal you decide to get), a reflection:
1. Based on this exercise, explain how parent/caregiver interactions shape young children’s future relationships.
2. What types of early parent-child interactions might lead to the anxious adult characteristics?
3. What types of early parent-child interactions might lead to the avoidant adult characteristics?
4. Briefly, what did you learn from this overall? Did it change the way you think about relationships?
Directions: The statements below concern how you feel in emotionally intimate relationships. We are interested in how you generally experience relationships, not just in what is happening in a current relationship.
Strongly agree
Agree
Somewhat agree
Neither agree nor disagree
Somewhat disagree
Disagree
Strongly disagree
I’m afraid that I will lose my partner’s love (1)
7
6
5
4
3
2
1
I often worry that my partner will not want to stay with me (2)
7 6 5 4 3 2 1
I often worry that my partner doesn’t really love me (3)
7
6
5
4
3
2
1
I worry that romantic partners won’t care about me as much as I care about them (4)
7
6
5
4
3
2
1
I often wish that my partner’s feelings for me were as strong as my feelings for them (5)
7
6
5
4
3
2
1
I worry a lot about my relationships (6)
7
6
5
4
3
2
1
When my partner is out of sight, I worry that they might become interested in someone else (7)
7
6
5
4
3
2
1
When I show my feelings for romantic partners, I’m afraid they will not feel the same about me (8)
7
6
5
4
3
2
1
I rarely worry about my partner leaving me (9)
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
My romantic partner makes me doubt myself (10)
7
6
5
4
3
2
1
I do not often worry about being abandoned (11)
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
I find that my partner(s) don’t want to get as close to me as I would like (12)
7
6
5
4
3
2
1
Sometimes romantic partners change their feelings about me for no apparent reason (13)
7
6
5
4
3
2
1
My desire to be very close sometimes scares people away (14)
7
6
5
4
3
2
1
I’m afraid that once a romantic partner gets to know me, they will not like me. (15)
7
6
5
4
3
2
1
I makes me mad that I don’t get the affection and support I need from my partner (16)
7
6
5
4
3
2
1
I worry that I won’t measure up to other people (17)
7
6
5
4
3
2
1
My partner only seems to notice me when I’m angry (18)
7
6
5
4
3
2
1
Strongly agree
Agree
Somewhat agree
Neither agree nor disagree
Somewhat disagree
Disagree
Strongly disagree
I prefer not to show a partner how I feel deep down (19)
7
6
5
4
3
2
1
I feel comfortable sharing my private thoughts and feelings (20)
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
I find it difficult to allow myself to depend on romantic partners (21)
7
6
5
4
3
2
1
I am very comfortable being close to romantic partners (22)
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
I don’t feel comfortable opening up to romantic partners (23)
7
6
5
4
3
2
1
I prefer not to be too close to romantic partners (24)
7
6
5
4
3
2
1
I get uncomfortable when a romantic partner wants to be very close (25)
7
6
5
4
3
2
1
I find it relatively easy to get close to my romantic partner (26)
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
It’s not difficult for me to get close to my partner (27)
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
I usually discuss my problems and concerns with my partner (28)
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
It helps to turn to my romantic partner in times of need (29)
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
I tell my partner just about everything (30)
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
I talk things over with my partner (31)
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
I am nervous when partners get too close to me (32)
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
I feel comfortable depending on romantic partners (33)
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
I find it easy to depend on romantic partners (34)
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
It’s easy for me to be affectionate with my partner (35)
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
My partner really understands me and my needs (36)
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
Fraley, R. C., Waller, N. G., & Brennan, K. A. (2000). An item-response theory analysis of self-report measures of adult attachment. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 78, 350-365.
*Limitations to consider:
The validity of this measure for all groups/cultures (many measures are validated with white/middle-class samples)
Does this accurately tap into IWMs like we think it does? (i.e., construct validity)
Likely is not a perfect screener for individuals, but does help reveal trends in large samples
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