Approach an important person in your life and request some help in learning more about yourself.

Approach an important person in your life and request some help in learning more about yourself. Begin by explaining all twelve of the Gibb behaviors to your significant other, a coworker, relative, friend, etc. Be sure to give enough examples so that each category is clearly understood. When your explanation is complete and you've answered all of your partner's questions, ask him or her to tell you which of the Gibb categories you use. Seek specific examples so that you are certain to understand the feedback fully. (Because you are requesting an evaluation, be prepared for a little defensiveness on your own part at this point.) Inform your partner that you are interested in discovering both the defense-arousing and the supportive behaviors you use and that you are sincerely interested in receiving a candid answer. 

Write a one page summary of what you learned: examples given by your partner, areas for improvement, areas you do well, how you felt as your partner was describing you, whether you agree with the evaluation, and what effect your use of the Gibb categories has on your personal and professional relationships, etc.